WEIRD WORLD!!!

Edutainment??

2012-01-25T00:36:00.010+05:30

The coincidence is STUNNING. An unplanned post exactly after a year!!

What every student seeks in his/her years of education are different techniques to stay entertained. I have to admit that the modes of entertainment vary a lot over the years. By this I do not just mean the “generation difference” which is highlighted by the advent of mobile phones right at your finger tips, to chat, message and play. I mean the difference between what is possible in your school life, under graduate and post graduate. The fact that I have experienced all three and experimented across the years is both a matter of pride and concern. Pride, for obvious reasons and concern coz if I wanted to study so much I would have become a doctor! (No offense to more than 50% of my family).

Although I do not want to go into details of the fundamental avenues of entertainment in classrooms like talking, hitting the person next to you, staring longingly at your latest crush etc., I will all the same for the benefit of the confused, give an idea of the difference across different courses. In schools there was a limitation to how much freedom our hands had. A question used in one of my blog posts earlier, “Why is there so much noise, are you writing with your mouth?”, if not analyzed for its sheer logical idiocy actually signifies the need to constantly write down what is being taught. Over the years, this need has decreased due to two reasons – the need of education changed and the “no need” attitude of students increased. Moving onto an under-grad course, it called for a different classroom setting. The mistake in analyzing this would be the fact that different students have different experiences here. But on the whole the scope for entertainments increased since the students were older, bolder and the topics were boring and tough.

Experiencing a post-grad course now, I found the need to list out 3 techniques of entertainment in class which I occasionally implement. Since the classification under academic circumstances, I have felt free to use relevantly catchy self-proclamations for my techniques.

1. “SAME” Technique: This is a beautiful technique which I have only had the opportunity to implement once or twice. The attractiveness lies in the fact that it achieves a dual advantage of remaining active in class while giving an image of being attentive as well. The execution requires utmost care and timing. All it involves is paying 2 minutes of attention or even lesser. As soon as the faculty asks a question wait for someone to raise their hands and be noticed. At once raise your own hand. This can also be done if you don’t even hear the question and just see the raised hands. Be very careful you don’t get his/her attention before anyone else. The crowning moment of this technique is in the reaction given once you are called for an answer, after the first person. With utmost conviction you go “Sir(Madam), Same point”..The intention is to give an absolutely disappointed look with a shrug of the shoulder to ensure that the faculty feels guilty for not having called you first.

Courtesy : thebadchemicals.com

2.Random Number method : This one is much more simpler and fun. As soon as a question beginning with the word “How many…” is put to the class, start shouting numbers. This can also be used as a two or more player game with the victor being the person closest or furthest from the required answer. Other variations of this include “Guess That Place”, “Who’s that Guy” etc. which originate from random guesses as obviously applicable

3. Shouting Along Phenomenon : Now one thing that has stayed constant throughout the year is the visualization of the difference between combined knowledge and individual knowledge of the students. As soon as the tutor asks a question, the entire class knows the answer but not one single person does. This phenomenon of shouting out answers and theories all pointing to the same answer for the careful listener is in fact something that can be analysed by itself. The method originated years ago from the gypsy fortune tellers. Their technique of throwing out words so that the listener hears what he wants to hear, has been adapted beautifully by students everywhere and of all ages. Although an insult to the historic origins of such a respected method of classroom participation, this too can be used as a perfect source of entertainment. The techniqueis simple. As soon as the class starts answering shout along. But the fun is in challenging yourself to be more creative. My initial days began with words related to the respective subjects. I have moved on successfully to movie names and the occasionally comic references. There is a slight requirement to know that subject, so that you avoid saying the right answer accidentally and being dragged into the discussion.

All these techniques have been tested and proved but at the same time there are two warnings:

- Use at your own discretion

- Do NOT use it in the class I am in. I can’t have two people saying “Sir, Same point”!!

*Author is noted for his unique multitasking ability to keep himself entertained while pissing people off at the same time.

You want privacy? You wish!!!

2011-01-24T21:52:00.004+05:30

Privacy invasion hit me hard… But luckily for them it hit me on the funny bone.. (Frankly, I’m not sure if that is supposed to make me feel that things are funnier or less funnier but let us go ahead with my initial assumption.). I have only heard of the risks of putting up your pictures for all of FaceBook to see. And also of the horrible things that is carried out in “Yossarian Speaks”. But a deadly combination of both over a period of time, along with a nonsensical game show by a renowned (they wish!) TV channel ended up in quite a hilarious infringement of any privacy laws that may be in this country.

I shall introduce the situation from a first person perspective. Imagine yourself to be casually having a good weekend with your family. As all families who complain about the television ruining the family unity, you are all gathered around it in an unnaturally abnormal and apparently non-evident sense of unity to watch some particular show. And as the whole room looks on, there pops up your picture.. right there! Right when everyone is watching, you are on TV! And you have no damn clue how! Worse yet, you are on TV coz the channel wants the viewers to wonder, if you are the son of some random guy!! No no… NOT the son of YOUR father but supposedly more honourable that you have a 0.25 probability of being the son of that famous guy on screen. Now in case some of you do not have the extreme imaginative capabilities required for this exercise. Here is a sample video of how it might look if you were me :

Subtitles :

Only cute lady on the whole set (from now on CL) : Who is the son of Murali Mohan? Option A

CL : No? you don’t know the color of his jeans?

Lady in brown saree hiding her goatee(??) (LG) : *shakes head* B

CL : Option B

LG : hmm…this looks less random.. let

me see C

CL : Option C

- Nefdyl Cold: Blah blah blah blahu>

CL: Do you have matching jeans for that shirt? Or atleast some lungi mayb?

Option D

LG: yes yes…matchin lungi for this I have.

CL : Ok..Option B and Option D have nothing to do with Kerala

LG : I miss option A.Can I see all 4 pictures?

Program editor : I’m so smart!

Viewers : Wow..all famous people..so lucky fellows, no…

Me: WHAAAAATTTT!!!!

And while this whole ordeal is happening the rest of the family watching with you can be picturised as below:

Well so that's that i'm apparently a TV star now, thanks to FB,google and a side dish usually had with dosa or vada (http://yossarianspeaks.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/gossip-girl-3/).

*Video courtesy Youtube; Picture courtesy : Family guy on my hard disk (And that's how it's done!!)

Dial C for Cheta...

2011-01-19T01:42:00.003+05:30

It isn’t what is said that matters but what is meant. The tone alone can convey what you are trying to say even without the words being right. And that is how a person can survive in whichever linguistic region he goes to….*SCREEEECH*

Atleast that’s what I thought until I had that stupid incident on a bus in Chennai. There I was peacefully….oh wait..let me get that right. There I was nervously standing in the bus with one hand holding the top bar, another on a seat trying hard not to get too close to the neck of the person sitting there. Aw..comon.you know what I’m talking about. That posture you maintain in the bus, when you don’t know where you are supposed to be getting down. With your head somewhere below the elbow of your raised hand , looking out like one of those hens they show on cartoons scratching the floor and trying to find at least one place which looked familiar! Well, there I was standing in the above mentioned manner when I happened to see an unexpected face at a bus stop we just passed. All excited to spot a friend out there, I thought I’d get down there, chit chat with the old chap and catch the next bus. Being a mallu, quite naturally as the blood that runs through my veins I started : “Chetaaa..Chetaaa…Stop..Chetaaa” (Ask that mallu friend of yours..). Baffled by the absolute disinterest shown by the the “Cheta” on board, I thought for a while and it hit me. Ofcourse! I was in Chennai.. No one is a cheta there!! “Anna..stoooopp..Anna”… And I had hit the right note! The bus stopped at once and a very pleased guy bounced out of the bus. But sadly enough, this whole process and the thoughts involved did not take place at the lightning speed I might have preferred. In effect there I was, stuck somewhere in Chennai with not my friend or my destination in sight.

Setting aside all happy memories of that day, let me get to the point. Whatever they told you about being in a new place was a BIG lie! NO! The first thing people learn in another region is NOT how to swear. That would come somewhere between the first thing and “How are you”. The first thing anyone learns is to call a stranger on the road – an auto driver, the shopkeeper, the guy who you want to ask directions to... I’ve seen my share of people visiting Kerala and besides the occasional buddy of ours who was taught completely irrelevant and censored stuff that even I didn’t know then, almost everyone else knew one word in common – “Cheta” (Brother). Okay, I don’t want to come out as a male chauvinist here. As the occasion called for, they did use “Chechi” as required too. But you could get by anywhere with those magical words. “Cheta, tea”, “Cheta, juice”, “Cheta, this” and “Cheta, that”. Ofcourse, next up in the words most understood by non-mallus came poda and patti but I’ll refrain from going into the details since this is not about the “Mallus”. Oh..by the way…there is a HUUUGE difference between “Cheetaa” and “Chetta”. (Ask that mallu friend again)

Tamil Nadu had the characteristic Anna as referenced before, which meant the same as Cheta – brother. And the utility of this word is pretty much the same there too – “Anna,tea”, “Anna, coffee”, “Anna university” and the likes.

I have not yet discovered what it is in Karnataka, but I have heard that you can get by with an interchangeable use of “Cheta”, “Anna” and the sorts. I shall not venture into the North since, as all below Mumbai are Madrasis, I am going to irrationally assume that it should be “Bhaiyya” everywhere (Foreigners, ask that Indian friend of yours. Yes yes..the mallu itself..he’ll know at least that much Hindi). One trend I DID notice ofcourse was that everyone was your brother: the rickshaw guy, bus conductor, even the guy younger than you who you need something from.

But then again, 1.5 years in A.P and I have learnt to use a new word. It could be due to the possibility of a majority wanting to badly dismember and swear at the person holding the actual title as referenced by this word but extensive use of it has ruined the title holder’s value. And not to mention the condescending manner in which it is uttered : “Boss”. There are variations to how it is said : “Booss”, “Booasss”, “Boohse”, “B-hose” etc etc.. Oh! This just in..apparently its catching up in Karnataka too. Well as long as I get the things I want done without having to walk over and poke the person or wave my hands crazily in front of him, I’m happy to call him anything. So I got no complaints. Besides, you know what they say " When in rome…

DISCLAIMER: This post was not intended to insult any region or faction of the society but if in ANY way you feel hurt or offended, Thankyou for reading.

Who we are....

2010-12-07T20:57:00.003+05:30

Over the last 2 days I have been on a mission of searching for long lost contacts. People I shared incidents in my life with 18, maybe 19 years ago. People with whom I grew up, who I always took for granted at that age. But regardless of the extensive utility of social networks, I was unable to locate any of them. Well, the fault isn’t completely on those addictive time-consumers, coz it really is hard to remember full names from that age! And add to that the extensive collection of Indian names with their multitude of possible combinations along with minor variations which could include - the addition of an “h”, removal of an “a” and the occasional “…ia” instead of the commonly assumed “…ya” - and you have a huge database to go through. Of course even if I get a name right, identification based on their facial features would be a near impossibility as I have practically no clue what they would have changed into now. And let’s not forget the distractions posed by the empty pangs of hope that “that particular profile pic could be my friend now…or I wish it is. Maybe I should drop a message and find out. If not the old one, a new friend made.SCORE!”.

Anyhow, the relevant point here is that I didn’t make any new friends NOR find the old ones. But it made me wonder. It made me wonder about the people, the people that were around us and the people that may or may not be around us in the future. In effect it made me think about how we are, what we are…

I may sound like I’m turning 70 next month, the way I put it. But the fact is that our life, and more importantly, who we are has basically been a culmination of incidents – both big and small- over the ages. It could be as big as falling in love and breaking your heart, or as small as choosing where to sit in class. The butterfly effect phenomenon plays a huge role in making void any possible measurement of the impact of these incidents. The same circumstances would give completely different outcomes to different people. How one incident impacts a person, would depend on how he/she assimilates it. Recursively, this depends on the incidents before it. Thus, at any particular point the Past adds up, to help read the Present and thus, define our Future.

The question here is for how long does this last. Could it be an endless relation where every single day we learn? This would imply that every day we change something in ourselves. A minor touch here, a slight push there , to try and perfect who we are. As I type it, it sounds like the most possible thing but how big are these changes as compared to how they were possibly ten years ago!! Somewhere along the line the base was made; what is inside had been largely fixed and sealed. All ongoing changes are purely superficial, and sometimes just a temporary volatile addition . A change to who we are, how we think, how we react will require harder work; breaking open the seal to rebuild the base.

But on the whole, can we change who we are? Would we WANT to change who we are? What defines how a person is supposed to be? Every person is simultaneously in the right and the wrong when he reacts the way he does. He is right in his eyes since his actions are defined by his ethics, thoughts and experiences. At the same time, for someone else his actions could be interpreted to be defiant, unethical and even outright vicious. So how exactly do we define the change that is required? Aahhh..who knows J

Fighting a Block - Random BS

2010-10-05T19:23:00.004+05:30

I have unfortunately struck a weird sort of writer’s block. Anything I seek to write comes out purely in a philosophical manner. Does this mean I have grown old, mature and more serious? Now I see why they complain about growing up!! I have been on a soul searching (coincidentally, also a sole searching, after a glass went up my leg!) mission to regain that cracking sense of humor which if applied in a 350 page book would have given me a review - “ a script so funny you would need Jim Carrey and Eddie Murphy to do justice* to the roles”.

*Fine, its for Jim and Eddie fans. A mallu version goes – “Cochin Haneefa and Jagathy”. And while we’re at it, though late, respect to the versatile actor.

So after a much needed boost of ego and patting myself on the pat, let me see where I can go with this. The need of the moment is to be able to successfully complete a post without having to refer to key philosophical words viz life, mind, chicken soup, opportunity, reason, BS, optimism, pessimism, (infact *ism for that matter.) In a completely unrelated thought sequence, notice how I have given myself credit by calling a total inability to write a writer’s block, and thus referring to myself as a writer; and consequently in the line following, highlighting that what I (may) have tried writing is philosophical, in the true sense of the word!! Desperate times lead to desperate measures I guess.. I have been out of any particularly useful ideas what with the world proving itself to be unbelievably humorous. And please note by “world”, I totally imply a set dominated by the CWG committee and its press releases. The one that ripped me up was Lalit Bhanot’s release where exceptional standard was shown, when he used the word standard 8 times in a sentence that highlighted how the Games Village was “the clean”. His reference to the difference between the cleanliness standards of the rest of the world and “the” Bhanot’s, while apparently implying India, (quite obviously a technique to enable the possibilities of a white-lie-denial), was hilarious.. Quite sadly, googling him titled him as the Delhi Games Spokesperson. With spoke(s) like those, no wonder the wheel wouldn’t move so well.

But then again, all is well that ends well. Though I still haven’t been able to get my hands on a “full stream-able video which can made to be looked like a client system or atleast something less colorful” copy of the Commonwealth games, few sections which I managed to see while swapping between that and a horribly bad Malayalam movie, were really good.. Long sentence short, CWG inauguration good, mallu movie Utharaswayamvarm suicidal!!

And since we are on the topic, CWG totally had a ossumm (mallu dictionary : n : (pronounced ohssome) : awesome) “Chendakottu” representation.. Ha! The amazing feeling you get when you realize you have seen a part of the same thing which people paid thousands for, while you were walking(rather dozing) reluctantly, half naked, next to an elephant, is brilliant. But yes, setting aside the localized smugness in seeing a huge mallu representation, on the whole India was at her best..

So kudos to India and real proud of her ability (at least to the extent it is) to integrate such a huge cultural variety. Well…hoping to be able to come up with more relevant posts and with a plan to foray into micro blogging, that’s all the BS there is for now. J

Doing the "Right" thing...

2010-09-14T02:33:00.002+05:30

As a rule, I’m a person who hates all generalizations. But one thing I will never deny is that every single person in this world has, at least once, come across a point in his/her life when he wondered if the step he was going to take next is the right thing to do. The turmoil in his thoughts at that moment is NOT a debate between good and evil; not even of right or wrong. As confusing as that statement may be, the actual question is what defines an act, a thought, to be right. Completely contrasting considerations could be evaluated to be simultaneously right. And there is no defined process to make the decision making process any easier.

At times it is about debating whether to follow the heart or the head, both being logically adept in their own rights. For a decision pertaining to the self can any man (or woman) think in such a way as to ignore one over the other? While the latter may provide a more factual and aloof assessment, the other is emotional and subjective. Rarely do we see an occasion where the duo combines to give the most reasonable choice. A decision that effectively combines both in the perfect proportion would be the ultimate one. Sadly enough, that perfect combination is highly improbable and maybe even completely hypothetical. An emotional detachment can never be achieved in any of our actions. This would require an amnesic erasure of our thoughts, memories and feelings. In effect it is a wish to deny ourselves what we claim/know makes us, who we are.

A utopian world would be based on the fictional Vulcans, where decisions are analyzed, dissected and made free of errors. Nevertheless, emotional as mankind has always been seen to be, we tend to swerve towards what the heart has to say than the other way round. When we follow signs, have faith or resign decisions to destiny, in effect we are moving into the realm of the heart. A state where right or wrong is decided by the amount of emotional satisfaction you receive. The irony here, being the fact that any sort of comfort that the considered choice may give us is purely dynamic and the same goes for the decision taken. It is based on erratic standards which by themselves are defined by even more fickle variables. And in all we have a perfect recipe for maximum turmoil.

More often than not, there is no right or wrong. The logical choice is what is analytically absolute while the emotional one is satisfyingly complete. Sometimes the head says it just is good to go with the flow. But when there was something you wanted with all your heart, have you ever been able to truly let go.. J

Dreams - A Vent

2010-09-10T01:28:00.001+05:30

Like any other piece of art that employs a storyline or even a basic line of thought, dreams in their own way have genres. They might not necessarily be classifiable along the broader lines of action, comedy, romance, “bollywood” style etc. but they can definitely be categorized. The major obstacle that lies in the path of this listing is the fact more than 80% of all dreams are forgotten when you wake up. But then there are the others which stay on, and more importantly are worth staying on. Any sort of categorizations that will be done by me would unluckily be based on personal experiences. It never was worth the trouble to go around asking people about their dreams. Besides such a question would elicit the more “considered” responses of “Doctor”, “ Prime minister”, blah blah..etc etc.. For the record, this is more of a personal vent than a definite analysis.

A very broad classification for dreams is fictional and non-fictional. As per my own dictionary¹ these, respectively, imply those that involve random people whose face you can’t put a name on and those that concern you and familiar faces. The former rarely involves the dreamer and would usually turn out to be amazing “dream stories” . Now ..how shareable these stories are would be governed by their ability to get past the average censor board. The key factor about these dreams is that, on a daily basis they would not affect your real-life; they would mostly be whims, imaginary stories, fantasies, random scenic locations. All thought up and perfected to give your senses a treat. The second kind of dreams – the one which accounts for you as a key character - on the other hand gives more of an emotional bias than a sensory one. There are the weird dreams which you wake up from feeling..wellll..weird.. You wonder why the dream took the direction it did; why the characters were who they were, how that could apply to your activities that day. Have you not had one of those days when you dreamt about a person who might have been a casual acquaintance in a more than casual setting? Imagine the feeling you felt on waking up to realize who it was. That’s the feeling I am talking about! Worse, are the dreams, which make you feel good. You wish you would not have to wake up from them. These non fictional ones don’t just tingle your senses, it gives you an emotional satisfaction which can or cannot be attained in real life. But when they may not, that’s when waking up is going to be a big pain! The story may not linger, the characters may fade away but inevitably the emotion you felt will stay with you, as a haunting tease. What gives it the killer touch is to want the dream all over again knowing completely regarding its authenticity!!

It would not be too much of a generalization to state that every individual has had instances where he has dreamt about something or possibly a part of it before it actually happened. For a fact, I have 6? Ya 6 I believe.. situations where I’ve dreamt and felt it, before or while something happened. Deciphering dreams, Dream interpretations, dream dictionary..there are hundreds of theories flying around about dreams. Most people believe that our dreams are related to our last possible thought before entering deep slumber. But personally, this phenomenon has not been the case. The dreams have proven to be random, erratic, and totally nonsensical at times!

The question is..how much would you trust a dream? Is it a sign or just a passing thought… Would you be able to know what in your memory, was a dream and what was real life? Dream on….

*Author swears inception did not have any influence on his thoughts and the post is purely based on circumstantial situations.

Ref 1 : Lined up in posts to come – “Making my own dictionary”

Complimenting - An ART!!

2010-08-12T18:04:00.003+05:30

They say it’s the thought that counts. From years of experience, I can confidently say “I couldn’t disagree more!!” It is apparently an art you really have to master to survive in the world. I’m not talking about honing the hidden sycophant skills or trying to be that detested person who’s got his lips all over the wrong cheeks! Even a casual day’s conversation does not seem to pass off as reasonable unless it is inundated, at least ever so slightly, with a few words of praise. The whole deal becomes troublesome when the target of the compliment tries to read- in to the casual statement. There are 2 possible scenarios which end up making the whole art of complimenting a topic to be discussed:

1. Too Little Too Late – Let’s say you want to appreciate it, him/her. But you’re not the typical compliment giving individual. Inevitably whatever you say in an attempt to make it a casual statement would be preyed on as being too little. Worse yet would be the interpretation that since you have not praised it high and far, you must DEFINITELY be making fun of it!! I have tried to explain, without much luck, to many people that my art of complimenting would involve subtle hints and rare direct comments. Never works out though.. You really have to put it across in words that could put Keats to shame! That brings us to the second scenario…

2. Too Much – Now if you fall under the category of people who genuinely want to compliment, then you have to be careful about your intended target. There are cases where the statements would be unadulterated , “from the heart”, but still will be twisted and construed to be taken as an insult or a mocking. But more often than not, the intended target would appreciate the comment. This is the basic “funda” behind compliments wherein people ALWAYS want to feel good.

This evaluation will lead to the conclusion than in reality it might be better to be artificially mocking than genuinely casual! J

It is not just giving a compliment that’s an art; receiving one too is quite a pain to master. Many a time I have been told how smart and handsome I am but I just don’t know how to take all that attention! Who are we kidding! But I assume the point is made. There are the sorts who would grill you till you make a compliment and then others who wouldn’t know how to react for a genuine one. What would a normal response be to a genuine compliment? The various interpretations that can be derived due to the many variety of people around, risks a response to be limited to a murmur and a shrug. But then again, even that would come out as a haughty wat of putting “Oh..I know!.what to doooo…”. How about the casual harmless ”thankyou”? But then again, that too comes off as “ya ya…I completely agree I’m awesome”. Then, there is the other group who will deem you as the worst thing that happened in this world after Edward did to the Vampire clan. Irrespective of whether you perceive them to be deserving of a compliment or not, you HAVE to say it! They rarely have an issue with responding to appreciation. If they do, it would be the funniest thought process conceivable :

*Before Compliment : “Why won’t he say I look good. Disgusting Guy”

*After compliment : “.Say something.. say something!!" "Aww...Teehee.” *giggle**giggle* *PUKE*!!

When you ask for it, more often than not, you are ready for it! So they definitely know what to say.

This post is definitely not a lesson on giving or receiving a compliment. Coz frankly, I’m the last person you could approach for that. But before signing it off , here are the NEVER MIX and MATCH combinations.

· Never mix and match a person who compliments less, with a compliment seeker. If this ever happens, you are in for a lot of complaining and accusations!

· Never mix and match an extensive “complimentor” with one who can’t take it. Misunderstanding and misinterpretations are inevitable.

So bring it on! I can take it. Compliment me all you want!

P.S : The dripping artificiality in this post makes it one of my worst ever!

Of Queues, Lifts and Dimwits

2010-07-12T14:34:00.004+05:30

Running out of ideas always leads to the desperate effect of having to mix a few smaller ones. With the “Random Thoughts” series boring even me out, on a second read, I thought I’d account some view points on everyday matters that we talk about. Another topic to be handled was “Toilets, And what we do in them”. Well…not exactly a part of my daily conversation as they are of my daily activities but when it came up, I really did have some ideas of my own. But that’s a story for another day...

DISCLAIMER: Opinions listed below are sadly made from observation of Indians

From casual analysis and jobless statistics taken from across work, malls and any reasonable conglomeration of human beings which I have attended, there is good reason to believe that the act of having to wait in line for your turn is somehow a herculean task for them. There are a few possible scenarios where this impatience is highlighted and really gets on your nerves.

Scenario 1: The Normal Queue

Now here we all are.. Waiting in line for our turn to get a ticket, get some food etc. And in comes our protagonist. Now there are terms such as “like he owns the place”, “like it’s his father’s house” etc which can state in a clichéd manner the arrogance involved, but let’s go deep into that dimwitted skull of his. What would a person, who cuts in, actually be thinking?

JA: Ooohhh.. There’s a huge line of people standing. I wonder whats up?

*Notices a girl 100 meters away looking in the completely opposite direction

JA : She looks cute! Must play hard to get… I’m so smart..

*Reaches the end of line

JA : Wow! There are 23 people in front of me. If I walk ahead 8 spaces there will be 15 in front of me and 8 behind me. I wonder how many people will be there in the queue at that time.

*Moves ahead 8 spaces by just barging in

*Counts on fingers

JA : Now there are 24 people in the line.Dooooooddd awessssommmme! This is fun.. Should try again.

And with this retarded line of thought, which in his mind seems purely logical and quantitatively practical, the hero cuts across 23 stunned faces to discover its always 24. At this point he realizes he’s at the head and does not require any more mind numbing exercises to keep him busy and carries on with the task at hand.

(Adaptation is purely author’s imagination. Expectations have been kept at maximum)

Scenario 2 : The Double-Ended queue

Now sadly enough, there are times when the head of a queue cannot be specifically pointed out, especially if you are new around. These can get really irritating if, at some point of time, there are 10 people on one side and 2 on the other facing the initial group like someone called for a Wild West shootout! The reasoning capabilities of the duo would amaze you and I can’t even bare to imagine what goes through that head of theirs. You end up wondering whether the whole point of standing in the queue all this while was to be given the honor of coming face to face with these stunning minds. There they stand with a smug smile which could almost be interpreted as “Bwahahah… Noone else saw the shortcut. I am so sma…” *SLAP*. Totally worth it!

Scenario 3 : The Lift

Now the final group described here are the lift takers. These again can be split into 2 groups which sometimes overlap to create an unbelievably arrogant bunch of lift “goons”.

The first group consists of the ones coming in. You don’t need a phD to know that a lift is smaller than the waiting area and people who want to come out would definitely prefer to be out. Unless you happen to be really good looking and of the gender that interests them, rarely would they want to wait and watch how you enter before deciding to walk out themselves. But as fate may have it, this train of thought never passes their impatient minds and they just assume that anyone who wants out should have taken the floor above.

The second group makes up the Ronaldos of the lift. You know that pose he strikes before taking a free kick and also of the arrogance involved in it; well that’s exactly how they stand at the door of the lift.
Anyone who wants to go out will have to go “over their dead body” or will just have to wait for his floor. You could also try crawling past his legs but then you have to watch out for the entering goons.

The scenarios listed are definitely not an exhaustive list but they ARE some of the highlighted ones. Usual lines which you could use at such scenarios include : “Excuse me.”, “Please stand in the queue” or the typical Indian, “uhh..Halo mister??”.

And then there are the more complicated ones :

- “You think we are standing for fun?” (Cliched)

- *Handing cash to guy : “While you’re at it could you get mine too?”

Well there are lots I’m raring to try since I regretfully face a lot of them. So if you got any more, keep them coming.. J

By the way I never say I’ve not done the same (though I always try not to) but then again I already admitted to be a hypocrite. Bwahahah…

Shanker

Fanfare makes a fair fan???

2010-07-08T12:49:00.006+05:30

So what exactly is it that gives people this all-so-famous fake feeling of ownership. To begin with I have to admit that I am not a hard core supporter of any team; in any sport. Unless there is India, an Indian or a fellow mallu (Indian again but with deeper traceable roots allowed) involved I wouldn’t exactly be able to pick a team. But extreme peer pressure and the need to have something to look forward to while tipping my drink, always makes me pick a side.

All games which don’t involve our country require me to go through a tedious process of elimination to choose a team to root for. Now for the record, this does NOT involve morsels of food placed in boxes within my reach. In the case of such a situation arising, the decision would be purely based on quantity, given that the quality is maintained the same.

Anyway…. I do not consider this “inability” a curse; (No! I am not referring to the morsel-craving; back to the game) I would rather say it’s a relief, since on the occasion of a defeat to the exalted winner- of the aforementioned nomination procedure - I can still go on leading a normal life without feeling the need to proclaim my ability to play better than the players who live by it. I am also lucky to be exempted from that feeling of ownership I was talking about, where I have to deal with the pressure of “My/Our team is playing today” , “We always come back from behind” or worse yet the decisions such as “I think we should play XYZ instead of PQP today”!!!

The enthusiasm shown by these kinds of “fans” (read multitalented personnel who can pitch in as player/coach/owner) can only be understood with the ultimate ability of imagination and spirituality, to the extent of nirvana, which cuts you off from the real world. Their(senseless) belief that the team they support and they themselves merge into one, can only be compared to the Supreme Being concept of the fictional planet Gaia of Foundation Series*. The sadder thing though is the non-existent timeline for these nerve creeping fans. Not even the players would bother about that 32^nd minute mistake made 3 years ago. But our folks would hear nothing of it – a victory is an expected elation while a mistake is an anecdote for life! A conversation over coffee would be decorated with “My team…that day…”..”We should have scored”..Even the lower limit of the year of birth would not hinder their memories what with “WE” winning in 1912, 1956, 1987 and not to mention 2034. Obviously 2 of these would be a deadly disastrous combination – “We got you”, “You shouldn’t have done that to our player” and an occasionally entertaining throw of punches.

Though I complain, I have to admit the watch wouldn’t be a fun occasion if 70 odd people sat peacefully sipping their drinks, with as much interest as Sachin Tendulkar would have in proof reading this post! BUT...then again..”Get a life!”...Well all I can say for now is “Whatever keeps you happy”; as long as it is not in a normal being’s face.

I’ll tell you one thing though, WE won in 1975 and again in 1983 too.. (Go google) J

*FOUNDATION SERIES: A MUST READ for sci-fi lovers.

P.S: Why the heck does WORD check think I would prefer one or three dots instead of 2?..

Shanker

Race of Life

2010-06-18T14:45:00.003+05:30

There is one point that we all can agree with. The world is a race. Every single person is running his/her own race. The difference is in how we perceive the race. For some it is a sprint, where your target is the person in front of you. A relative race; where you judge your performance by a scale graded with the names of every single person around you. The second category is running an Endurance race where they push themselves irrespective of where they are in the larger race. Each day they set a higher target and victory is gained irrespective of who was competing along with them. A majority of the world is toned to fall under the former category, where they are made to believe that their success is not in doing their best, but doing better than the best.

Is it easier to set a target independent of you or to compete with yourself? A motivated sprinter would definitely make it good due to the abundant sources of targets available. But what exactly is the level of satisfaction here. With the whole concept of “the grass is greener on the other side”, wouldn’t it just be an endless series of seemingly sadistic victory dances only to realize there is one more “better” to best. The endurance racers on the other hand achieve an easier satisfaction with just being able to reach their set target. Well, the major fault here is that since the target is set by youself, your “laziness/motivation” plays an important role. Happiness, to the grade of ecstasy, could be achieved by just being able to wake up early or pass an exam. But then there is also the factor that a motivated Endurance racer always knows the target. The factor of ambiguity which can be found for a Sprinter does not exist. Here’s where I pull out an analogy which I assure you is NOT taken from personal experience. It’s a typical case of a fat guy running a marathon as compared to a seasoned runner. The former is just happy to be able to run an extra mile each year while the runner has set himself a higher target. On a quick look, it may seem like the runner is at a higher “success level” but let’s consider a few factors. The miles covered by the first guy do not change over the years; his competition is constant – himself. Now add in a new runner into the marathon, one who’s been working hard to beat our seasoned runner and you got yourself a whole chase going on, where each year, one of the two is definitely going to be dissatisfied with his performance.

While our super go lucky hero is content with himself, being able to stay on his feet after quarter the way!.

You can imagine a dumb content smile here considering the plump guy is always the dumb one on TV..What’s the deal with that anyway???

So here’s the question, which one is right? Then again there is always the fact that right and wrong is a purely relative concept. So which one would YOU say is right? Compete with the world? Or Compete with yourself??

Live YOUR life.. :)

Shanker

WAY of the MALLU....

2010-05-14T18:28:00.005+05:30

It’s basic mathematics. The Indian population seems to be on a constant rise and the ratio of mallus you knock elbows with on the road as compared to others, seems to remain a constant (or even higher). Considering the fact that the percentage of mallus remain the same (or even more) even while the absolute number of Indians is increasing, and the claim of 100% literacy, it all boils down to one logical possibility – Sex education is not part of the Indian “literacy” syllabus.. But wait, I digress.. It is not the number that amazes me, it is the wide distribution of the “mallu” clan.. Of course; if you want to find one, the most logical search locations would be every nook and corner of the 14 districts of the Mother-ship – Kerala, and its annexure the “GELLF”. It is ALSO quite obvious that given the abundant sources, a normal human being (non-mallu one) would be glad not to meet one when he’s ambling down the road miles away from the aforementioned locations. But the law of inevitability states that, “If you’re on earth and minding your own business you will inevitably pass a mallu”. Being one myself along with the added advantage of staying with most of the various kinds of mallus – northie mallu , NRI mallu, Konkani mallu – it is only basic courtesy that I provide a handbook for.. “THE WAY of the MALLUUU”..

Lesson 1

Identifying a mallu

1.Food: one word : COCONUTS….

2. One of the simplest ways of identification, is a unique clothe style called the “lungi” or its formal counterpart the “mundu”. In general both can be defined as : “Hanging piece of clothe starting from the waist - covers till legs when worn normally, but can be folded up at times of aggression, casual walks or for intended “cool” looks.” Differentiating a lungi from a mundu is just a matter of identifying the maximum number of colors mixed into a design that can only be found in some psychedelic Media Player Visualizations.. But wait! Its not as simple as it sounds. There is a specific way the lungi is tied in kerala.. See picture for future identification reference.

3.He’s not wearing a lungi, but you think he’s a mallu? Talk to him… A classic touch which mallus give to their pronunciation of words is a complete inability to stop breathing sound, even when the word has ended. The Result : Words with “sound tails” . You’ll hear a lots of fooduh, drinksuh, whatuh…

4.You think there’s no lungi and the word-brake system is flawless? Keep Talking! Just try to make sure he uses words with the proper “identification vowels”. Things you could look out for: Modification, pollution, parents - Watch out for the totally unintended “ohhh”s of realization and the “aah”s of retardness if you stop them at the right places in the middle of these words.

Another technique to identify a mallu is to get him to meet another one. Now here are some characteristic conversations you may hear.

2 MALLUS

Mallu1 : Hi. I’m from Kerala

Mallu2: Ohh. Evidenna (Where from? )

M1: Ohh…malayaleeya, le. Njan Cochin. Evidenna? (Oh..malayalee,uh? I’m from . Where you from?)

Its like peace wont settle into their mallu reunion unless they assure each other they are not neighbors* or long lost brothers!

*Neighbor(in mallu) : anyone within 20km from your home town.

Mallu with NRI Mallu

Mallu : I’m from Kerala

NRI Mallu : Oh. I’m a malayalee too.

Mallu : oh.nice. where from ?

NRI Mallu : Dubai (or Oman, muscat etc..)

And then there’s that awkward pause where Mallu waits for the NRI to realize his intentions of asking the question were as explained before, at the same time recalling which of his mother’s uncle’s son’s in-law’s friend works in the same place. As soon as NRI Mallu realizes his mistake and utters the name of the biggest city within 50 km of his actual place, the mallu bonding starts and the NRI prefix is lost into a happy reunion.

And to top it all, we have the irresistible urge to zoom in and congregate with anyone and anything that seems even remotely mallu!

And some Malluism :

1.No place, work or title shall be left unexplored

2.Every famous person worth something would have their roots, really deep down somewhere interacting with one mallu or the other

3.Mohanlallll. Mammoootyyyy

4.Where there is land, there is a malayalee and hence a Kerala restaurant.

Well no offense people.. I’m one typppickal mallu and totally out of ideas for now. Until the next time.

Tataa…..

CORPORATE LIFE - People

2010-04-16T18:42:00.002+05:30

So I’ve already had a post on what I learnt from 6 months of corporate life. They were more of observations than any good guidelines. Considering the fact, that I’m nearing a year into “office life” and also, that rarely do I get the urge to blog now - owing to the slow decomposition of my remaining brain cells – I have decided to come up with this post. The original plan is to provide a “things to do” that is conventionally not given out in the Corporate Handbook.

But first another piece of observation. There are broad categories into which the people at work can be classified into:

1. SMILE acquaintances: People you have never met but you just end up smiling to, holding the door for or saying an occasional “hi” to when you pass by. These people are generally not even in your service line. You just happened to smile at them one day and now you just have to keep it up!

2. WORK acquaintances: Yes, I agree. All the people around are at the same work place as you are. But there is a general category of people who you can specifically call “WORK acquaintance”. Those under this category are the people on your floor/service line/ Line of Business (whatever you call it) but not directly related to you. You have been introduced to them but you never really had to interact with them. He/she just happened to be a friend of your “PROJECT/TECHNOLOGY acquaintance”.

3. PROJECT/TECHNOLOGY acquaintance : These people are your direct point of contact for anything and everything related to work. You may or may not to choose to hang out with them outside office hours. But during office hours they are your closest “friends”. Usuall, more out of helplessness than choice.

4. WALKOVER acquaintance: Your bored. Your fed up and you just want to quit! That’s when these people come handy. These are the people you can just walk over to….chit chat for a while..have a few laughs with and return to your seat.

5. WHO-THE-HELL acquaintances : Never seen them before and you’d think that every single time you see them,UNLESS you end up smiling at them or vice versa. But you get the point…

6. POC acquaintances : In a world with loads of skill distributed in a completely erratic and illogical manner you are SURE to be the Point of Contact for something. Even if it is “the guy with an extra pen”. So these are the people who keep coming back to you for the reasons you “excel”.

7. WORK-AND-OUT acquaintances : Your buddies at work. These people are the ones you would choose to hang out with inside OR outside at work. If you were living in a sane world with no cubicles, no bores (a noun implying a person) and no work – these are the people you’d call - friends.

P.S : The various categories listed are not purely exhaustive. I'm guessing it covers up a large part of the people around and on most cases the categories overlap a lott!!

DISCLAIMER : These are opinions and categorisations of the author and not to be officially recounted

Well, guess this post turned out longer than I thought. Well I’m saving up the “guidelines” for another day in that case..

Adios
Shanker

Just a hypocrite....

2010-02-15T13:07:00.002+05:30

I did not cry but nor can I say that tears did not come to my eyes. Call me a loser, call me a sissy. Call me whatever you like but for a fact I know what I actually am. A pure hypocrite. This blog is not a review of the movie at which my first sentence holds good : “My Name is Khan”(from the epiglotis). This is about something I realized while I was watching it. The tears or the feeling of sadness(to put it a bit manly) were NOT for Kajol or the suffering Khan(who, I have to admit, pulled off the role pretty well but at the same time gave me the image of not having to work too much to “act” new). It was not about the loss of a son or the life of a mentally challenged character. It was about the plight of the world. The acts of cruelty, the misunderstandings and also a feeling of detached pride in random acts of unity. Scenes portraying the patriotic, nationalistic and stray incidents of unity and courage always gave me goosebumps and what can be termed as “welling of the eyes”. For those of you who did watch the Khan as Khan flick, some scenes I can quote as examples are 1) the search at the airport, 2) Sam’s incident 3) the Georgia incident : not Shahrukh going over but when his relatives, and friends come to help. At the same time the scenes which irked me included the US teacher talking about “Islam” and the talk by the “doctor” to inspire Jihadism but there again the correct interpretation provided by Khan gave a sense of righteousness to the set. It is not religion, it is not nationality, nor race, colour, language that diversifies man. It is the good and the bad. Quoting another famous flick “You either die a hero or live long enough to be a villain”. The same way as absence of light is darkness, inaction or the absence of good is bad/evil. But I shall not stray into my “philosophies” on religion or “humanity” in this blog. Throughout the movie I felt that sadness due to the stereotyped portrayal of a specific set of people; be it religion or color.

That’s where I come in. On reading an article related to the Indo-Pak venture “Aman ki aasha”, I realized more than half of what they wrote was true. I would recommend the article for those who are interested. Our image of a topi(Taqiyah in Arabic) wearing man with long beard and robe has been combined with the same images of that person sitting around tables hatching plans to blow up a landmark. The media, movies and every single form of communication have shown remade “adaptations” of these images. Regardless of the number of disclaimers on being shown these two images side by side any person would just “logically” reason out a bunch of crap. Why not a man with a tshirt and jeans? Why not a guy in a coat?? It’s an image that generates a thought; an idea. I am not going to use any general terms here. Coz on contemplating at the end of the movie, I realized one thing I am just a HYPOCRITE. Just a day before I had these “fake emotions” flowing in, I was roaming around Hyderabad . As usual, lost and far from home!(I seriously should get a GPS and map while driving). At a point where I was definite I was going the wrong way, I stopped to ask directions. The person I happened to stop near was the typical stereotyped “long beard, topiwala” and my first response was “Would he really give me the right direction”. Disgusting. For the record, the way I asked him or talked to him did not get affected by this and he was a very pleasant man. Then WHY this stupid misconception. Why that thought!! Even after the movie and on hearing about the Pune blast my mind rushed to that spot. He was getting off a scooter. Boom!! This is me. I give a load of crap about being righteous, about being against religious fanaticism(which I strongly AM against) but at the same time I think like this. I fear/doubt an image. Why is it that we are made to believe that he or any man who looks like that can’t be our neighbor, manager or friend! It is not just the world that bothers me, nor the media. Right now it is me. And how much of a hypocrite I am. To all those people out there to whose images I have attached incidents : I can’t stop thinking or imagining but please accept my apologies.

P.S : I know for a fact, i do not speak about just myself here.

Later,
Shanker

Lessons learnt in the Corporate

2010-01-05T17:37:00.001+05:30

Some things I learnt in the corporate world

1. If you are early your manager will definitely be at his seat.
2. If you’re late and rushing to make it in my time your manager will be late that day.
I SAY: I have no idea how this works and I should actually be happy since it’s actually better than having it the other way around. But it kind of gets on your nerves when you are just rushing to make it on time and reach there to realize no one is there yet! If there was some form of consistency, things would have been a lot easier at work.

3. There is always someone else in the bathroom at any given point of time during the day.
I SAY: This is another thing I don’t get. Irrespective of the number of people on the floor on a given weekday there is definitely going to be

a) Someone else in the bathroom when you enter
b) Someone entering the bathroom while your inside
c) Someone pushing the door while your pulling it to go out

It’s not like I take THAT much time!! And I’m just talking about the basic usage here!!

4. When your boss comes up behind you, it would inevitably be seconds after you minimize the actual work you are supposed to be doing.
I SAY: You know what I’m talking about. Regardless of how hard you were working, the moment you decide to take a break would be the moment that “rarely visiting” super boss of yours decides to make an appearance.

5. If you change screen in a hurry to hide what you were doing you’ll definitely end up with something worse.
I SAY: Although I have to confess that this could be a direct cause of the multiple useless tabs I keep open, it really is irritating. When you’re in situation 4 and you just want to act busy again. No amount of ALT + TAB will get you to your actual work!!

6. For any given day, the time spent for lunch by your manager and team is inversely proportional to your own lunch break .(This is only applicable if you aren’t eating with them)

7. If you’re in a hurry the elevator will stop at the maximum number of floors.

8. If there are 3 or 4 rooms in a line and you have booked one of those for a meeting, 90% of the time the room you booked will be occupied and the others will be free!

Well that’s about it for now. The corporate life has corroded my senses. Got a few posts on hold… Later then..

RANDOM THOUGHTS - 2

2009-12-14T12:21:00.003+05:30

Since I haven’t written for a while I thought I’d drop in a few points about some things that run through my mind but which in effect make no sense or are just not worth bothering …

P.S - this is my worst post ever

1. If I were in your shoes/place : Now we’ve all come across this situation where you are in a predicament or in the middle of a problem. In more informally “formal words” you have got yourself stuck in depth in some fecal remains. So there we are… Wondering what to do..whats next, when someone comes over and says (please read in a deep voice) “Hey..if I were in your place.. “.. Here you are trying to solve some issues of your own and you have to add to that someone’s imaginary problems??? Comon..think about it.. All these “if”s are just a whole lot of imaginary scenarios which gives the speaker never dreamt of powers.. But never tone it down.. If I guy is looking for a chance to boost his ego, let him do it..poor soul… And then pray that he never does be in your place.. Or if you’re a sadist pray that he does.. Look at it this way. If the “if” made any sense I’d just walk over to my boss right now and say “Hey, if I were in your place I’d give myself a raise”.. But funnily enough doesn’t work that way..

2. Assumptions: People are born with these.. The baby assumes he’s giving us a fun time.after a while he doesn’t realize we are thinking “if I were in your place I wouldn’t be so mean”. The lower primary kid thinks he’s the smartest guys around and all those people who are older are just too dumb to understand that. The high school kid thinks he’s the coolest guy around and assumes he understand what’s happening in class.. The college guy thinks pretty much the same thing along with that funny idea that he knows what he wants in life (and wife).. I haven’t gotten very far past that point…So if I update this in 40 years or so, I’ll fill in the rest of a human cycle. So people assume.. Just like I assume I have readers.. So there’s no point being bothered about assumptions. Positive assumptions are always great.. Keeps u boosted for no particular reasons. But then again negative assumptions are fine until it becomes a surety.. coz then it isn’t an assumption anymore… A fact is harder to handle… And I’m just assuming all this made any sense..

3. Selflessness : ah! Yes..this is something I consider very funny.. Let me put it straight. There’s not one person in this world who has done anything without having their own interest in mind. Not me, not you and not Edward of Twilight fame! :P.. I know you can quote hundreds of instances of selfless acts by people, by famous personalities but for each instance I can break it down so that it shows the selfish nature of humanity. Even leaders of mass organizations are in effect working for personal gains. Agreed, others gain by it too.. But that’s where I draw the line between the word definition of selfishness and my definition of selfishness.

SOME QUOTES :

1. "Its not about what you do its about what you say."

2. Please generalise this one to your comfort : "They think everything is about them and when it actually is, they just don't get it"

3. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Ok..Frankly I’m totally out of ideas..!! If I were in your place I’d just read all my older posts but then again……… :)

My Regular Day

2009-12-02T13:09:00.005+05:30

My next planned blog was supposed to be something serious. But I couldn’t help writing this one!!

A day at work (where I currently am)..

A day at my work(which excludes Thu-Fri) can be defined in a very logical manner and a perfect algorithm. Funnily enough coz the work I do requires neither logic nor an IQ for that matter. So here’s how it is

Step 1 : Access Client system
Step 2: Check number of tickets
Step 3 : Detect processible ticket while wondering about all the other ones which are just lying in your bucket for days…
Step 4: Open ticket
Step 5 : Open authorization form
Step 6: Check signature
//The most complex part comes here at which point my brain creaks into motion//
If form has all necessary signature create/change/remove/do something! to user ID
ELSE reassign to respective people.
Step 7 : Goto Step 1 until we have only non-processible tickets to sit and wonder about
Step 8 : Sit simply
Step 9 : Check time.sit simply
Step 10 : Loop step 8 and 9 till time = 8:00pm.
Step 11 : Leave to die of boredom another day.
Its fun… :)

The argument you may have here is that all work have this. Well I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact that in a 7-day week (as all weeks are) I am stuck 3 days(MTW) with a floor full of similarly pissed people, 2 days(TF) with a laptop and no people and the last 2 days(Sat,Sun) with laptop and 2 people both of whom occasionally go into a volley of “enti”, “ante” and “cheppandi”! The only word catching my attention in the exchange being “Lunch” which is just the same without the laptop. Ironical is the fact that although I was taken for my analytical and communicating skills , I aint analyzing nor am I even remotely communicating!!

Imagine that! ME! Silent!! With that unbelievably pleasant thought to think about I bade you farewell.

A blog in Lines

2009-11-19T20:14:00.003+05:30

Captions, 4 liners…. Somehow these were the things which kept us busy in 4 years of BTech... I used to have this fascination for limericks long back… Did a lot of research.. Read a lot of them.. But never did it click that each 4 liner we made in college were just another one of those limericks which I used to read about... But I realized one day how long it’s been since I made one of those... All thanks to the book I’ve been trying to finish for so long. For the fantasy fascinated and the Hitchhiker fan I’d recommend this series. Simoquin Prophecies, Manticore’s Secrets and the Unwaba Revelations (I’m on that one right now). There’s one whole chapter dedicated to a yeti and her 4 liners... You can’t call it a poem; it’s just an expression of facts in rhymes. Here’s an example. Made this one up after I got an irritating mosquito issue resolved. You’ll agree that no amount of poetic romanticism can be found in this:

“No more mosquitoes will bite me at night
Coz of the coil in the morning I did light
I opened my door to find it full of smoke
All thanks to the coil about which I spoke” :P

That’s when it hit me: that any situation, any issue could be expressed with one of these rhymes. Not necessarily would all these lines make any sense to the facts being quoted but after all we DO speak a lot of crap in the middle. At least those that do listen to me will agree that I do. How about this one:

“Thursdays and Fridays are my weekends off
5 days I’d work regardless of headache or cough
One day I had decided that every week I’d blog
Alas, I did nothing but surf and hog.”

Here’s more:

“In college there were, many problems all rated
I know by now it’s all outdated
I shouldn’t bring it up after so long a time
But give me a break I’m just making a rhyme”

“Whizz did we to Kuntala by road
To the water falls, an Alto I rode (Tip: Using homophones are not very effective)
Hope did I, the Sun would be less hotter
So at the falls, we could see a little water”

“I live in LA* with Nikhil and a Chinki
Tolia, he was named, whole of him and his pinky**
Along with us there was one Pai
No! It is not the one that went high”
:D
*LA = Lotus Arcadia
**Pinki = I mean little finger!!

"You must have heard, about this mallu Chinki
Tarun, Maninder, we also called him a donkey
Famed were he and his green shorts
The one with the flowers and the white polka dots
There was with him, one who shared his bed
Law did permit but they were not wed
Coz this was Pai,known to be confused
But we all know its an act;all induced.
Though, on one side stood the beloved chinki,
We all know who had Pai by the pinki
Small but mean she had him in control
Quite a laugh, real funny on the whole"

Couldn't help it, it just kept going after the first 4 lines...sorry guys.. :D

“Attempt to crack did I, many a joke
Until people started ignoring whatever I spoke
Now I’m thinking I’ll write some down too
I know you’re all going “Get lost! Booo!!””

“I could go on all day adding another line
Even if together you all did whine
But for now I’m stopping this ridiculous blog
Please do comment or at least add some dialogue”

Well I guess that’s another feather to my blog.. Until I start spontaneously again.Bye. :D

Convocation Funda - I

2009-10-17T19:54:00.000+05:30

The irony of the situation is that here I am, trying real hard to go to a place I’d rather not be reminded of.. Now, surprisingly, what should have been an easy decision has just not been that. In my right mind and not considering any other factor, which include the proud people who just want to see my convocation. Not exactly to feel proud and happy but for more of a reassurance that I actually am a BTech graduate as the mode in which I have spent four years of my education did not exactly symbolize a high probability to support it..It hasn’t been an easy decision. It has gone “definitely not” to maybe to “ALRIGHT” and then again to “What da heck for” and then back finally to my current status viz “Whatever”. Now let’s break it down as best as I can and am obliged to put it. So, what came first.. “Definitely not”... Well let’s not break that one down.. As that forms the foundation and the initial unchanged decision the actual facts are not absolutely necessary so let’s just keep it simple instead of going into too many unnecessarily confusing details.. So there I am totally not inspired by the opportunity of getting together at college for all those memories of “fun and frolic”.. And then when more information came pouring in, something hit me.. A sense of freedom? No, that hits me now and then anyway.. A hint of nostalgia..maybe a bit, a very small bit I guess.. But it was enough to take a crazy decision of going.. And you know how it is when ur mind changes and u spend 5400 for a ticket, it really is hard to change ur mind back. Coz now the body is run by the green and not the grey matter. And by green matter I am not talking about getting high.!!The green paper, dollar, dong; put it however you want to.. So there I am, a little down on cash and thought I might as well use it up since I already spent it. Now my sole reason for attending was to experience the amazing service a Kingfisher could offer me.. No, again I do not mean the same service that a Tiger or a Budweiser could offer me.. I mean the Kingfisher that gets you high..in the air, u know.. Wow! This is really getting confusing, even for me!! Ok anyway as I finally decide to go for the convocation, disaster strikes in the form of a remote and a lot of red tape. Deciding it was a stupid decision to change my mind in the first place, then again I turned to the services of Kingfisher to take me out..3 of them infact.. There’s the situation.. I can come but I can’t attend. So what am I coming for? I thought I was coming to attend.. Things started getting confusing. There, I shifted from “ALRIGHT!” to “Wat the heck for”. But Kingfisher service can do amazing things to you. Instantly I shifted on to “Whatever” mode.. And there I found myself next morning at Hyderabad airport all ready to go and typing the start of this blog. Well long story short for now: I went, I attended and I celebrated leaving the place. All’s well that ends well I guess.. Although sometimes things may not end well but all those are well too, I suppose..Anyway here I am, waiting at Cochin just happy to get back.. If time, joblessness and more different services by KF, Tiger and what not permits I’ll get back to this. Adios people.. :)

Welcome to Hyderabad - Part 1(Traffic)

2009-10-08T18:33:00.006+05:30

Well its been 3 months in this city and I still haven’t blogged about it yet.. Now that’s no sign of a good blogger.. So just so that I show one sign of being a good blogger so I can be proud and pat myself on the back I thought I’ll get a few ideas across.. So to those who don’t know this is Hyderabad.. I don’t know what its called the land of..or else I would have named it Hyderabad , Land of “whatever its called”. Well, I got to admit one thing about this place. It’s not as bad as they say.. Actually overall its an absolutely great. Its fast, adventurous and filling. Yup.that around covers the points I would have put across. I have been on a lot of roads but this place is the best. If you think about it you’d realize that somewhere in the annuls of history this was the place where they tested out all traffic rules.. They just got a couple of vehicles together, made sure they were seated with all possible number of people, (starting from what is possible to what would never have been thought to be) and then just put them there on the roads to see what would happen. Few inferences they might have made were,

1. We need lanes. People going both ways can NOT drive on the same side of road and still remain happy drivers. Some people have to drive on the other side of the road. (No.this was not the reason they had to come up with the 377 too!!)

2. We need service centers. Although general rules in Hyderabad governs that every vehicle less than or equal to a Tata Indica will invariably have a dent in it, people are getting richer. So we need service centers for the high end cars.

3. Buses should be fitted with brakes which work even while enroute. – I got no explanations here.. Its just there. You either get off a bus fast or die trying.

4. Number of people in a three wheeler vehicle should be limited. – There’s one good thing about this place.. You get to hang around a lot.. I have been to a lot of places with my friends. But I get to hang out(..of an auto..) all the way enroute.

5. Auto stands – At some point of time in the “past history” of Hyderabad a Mr. Reddy decided one thing. “ I can’t stand it that autos come and stand where I stand. Those contraptions have to stand where autos stand”. And thus was created the concept of Auto stands.And to honour him there’s one in every household of Hyderabad.. I don’t mean the stands. Lets get one thing straight. You can’t blame the rickshaw drivers. They are just hoping to get a good paying ride. They just have to be ready all the time. It’s hard for them to differentiate between a guy hailing an auto rickshaw and a guy yawning. For them every guy on or off the road is a possible customer. Even if he’s just getting off another auto!People, give them credit for all the circus tricks they pull off with an over laden vehicle. Sheesh!!

Well I’m proud to be a part of a city which can boast of being the inspiration for many rules but there’s one single problem! Give us a break!! They forgot to get this place back into shape. Well the least they could have done in return was implementing a few of the rules, right here!! Even a beta model would have pepped things up a bit. Well be grateful all of you out there!!. We are risking a lot to make your roads safer in the future...Well you know what they say.. “if u can’t beat ‘em join ‘em”.. And I’m doing just that. More to come… As I said ..its fast, adventurous and filling.. I still have the last part to cover..later then…

HIYA

2009-07-23T10:48:00.002+05:30

Its been long…Real long!!!
I really don’t see the point of writing anything if its just for me to read.. :P.. Anyway, right now I’ve been relocated to Hyderabad. I usually end up blogging if there’s something nagging on my mind or there’s some trivial stupidity I need to spread around. Well for now life is pretty easy. So no nagging nor any stupidity that’s trivial. But I hope to get back into this soon. Hyderabad is a real good place.You’d expect things about this place after seeing PG messes(in all sense of the word) in college. But its not even close to that. Its fast and easy to keep up with at the same time. So there’s nothing to complain there. Even the recent legislations don’t make much sense to me ,now that I’m far away from the “orientally” stereotyped Calicut. And ofcourse with the likes of Yadu and Rahul going back to where THEY came from, I guess Calicut can soon regain its place in history as it was rather than being the best place in Kerala on July 2nd.
So that’s that. For starters a few things I learnt or developed in Hyderabad :

- A philosopher is one who knows how to live a perfect life but never does.

- To be a consistent comedian you need to keep moving.

-Projector remotes are some of the most irritating things in the world and they haunt you wherever they go.

-Yadu’s latest quote would be “Better late than never. Areh Va!Delhi “6”. “

-Rahul : “A little too late , oh little ass! ”

Bye then.. Hope I get more time like this..

2008-08-14T00:40:00.002+05:30

Now this post really comes under the title of “miscellaneous” coz its not about anything in particular but just a condensed version of lots of thoughts that strike me in different situations. Special note for this blog: I shall be trying to write the posts in a Situation – Thought combination,but excuse me if I don’t manage to come up with situations at times.. Also I might add more thoughts based on what turns up along the way and will be posted as they come, whenever they may be.

1. Now this is one situation at least most of my friends from Kerala would be able to relate with. It might not make much sense to anyone who hasn’t been on the hearing end of such a conversational oxymoron but I swear I am not making this up.

Situation: Teacher : “Ay..Why all this talking(noise)??Are you writing with your mouths??”

Shanker’s Thought : Come on!!!This makes no sense at all..If we were actually using our mouths to write I really doubt we’d be able to do any talking at all..The only reason we are able to talk is coz our mouth is free while we write with our hands!!!Sheesh…………

2. Ok…done with the really poor jokes…but I just had to put that one first coz I’ve been wondering about this for the last 8 years or so!!!!Onto a bit more serious thought. I got no practical situation to explain for this one. There are innumerable number of quotes on changes and discussions about how one is good ,the other is bad etc. etc…So here’s my thought on that..

Shanker’s Thought : Changes are neither good nor bad.It is how we adapt to them that gives them any quality.

3. Ah!This one’s got a bit more philosophical touch. I’m not explain any more..

Situation 1 : ABC : “ That guys amazing.He doesn’t care what people say about him”

Situation 2 : XYZ : “Its ok..He doesn’t care what others think about him”

Etc.etc…

Shanker’s Thought : Makes no sense at all!!!!…I cant believe there are nitwits in the world who actually say this kind of stuff. Every single person cares about what people say or think about them… Whether they react or not is completely different; but they CARE….So people of the world I implore you…..dont be so idiotic as to form an impression about ANYONE like that…..!!!!!

Mutant Sarees

2008-08-06T21:53:00.002+05:30

I’m not exactly sure how many of my so called imaginary “readers”(yes I had to overdo and stress that point) would agree with me when I take up such a comparison.. but this is one matter of real concern which has been gnawing at me for a really long time… And I’m not using that term in the usual sense of just “making me think”.. It has really been gnawing and getting on my nerves…But luckily for now half my stuff are safe from these anomalies… As a matter of fact, more than just as an analogy sometimes I really wonder if it could be true.. But before I get into the matter a small intro into things… Mutants, as is known to all movie buffs(and I’m not talking about the real critics here…just people like me who enjoy an occasional blast and a fight.), have that innate tendency to multiply uncontrollably and pop up from the most unexpected places.. Now keeping this in mind I cant help but wonder if the sarees at my home are undergoing such a complex extra-terrestrial intrusion.. This situation can easily be proved y stating three simple facts…

1. Sarees are only bought and worn by my mother

2. Irrespective of location, time or occasion you open a shelf, you get a saree if and only if you’re a male.

3. My mother never finds a saree when it’s the location, time or occasion

That’s the situation…At times it seems as if all the “mutant sarees” follow a simple replication and replacement modus operandi and end up turning up in our drawers with no clue whatsoever as to where the shirts and pants disappeared. And when one is actually required (not by me) they’re just soooo elusive!!! Worst of all is the fact that they don’t JUST turn up…Nope!! They end up falling all over and around you when you least expect them. Well that’s the storyline at my home : “Attack of the Mutant Kancheepurams”*

* For the uninitiated “kancheepuram“ is a special class of high quality (the "expensively good" types) sarees..

Cute ads...

2008-05-21T14:04:00.005+05:30

Lots of ideas brewing up...but meanwhile, here's a really amazing ad i liked...kudos to AIRTEL for putting it so beautifully...

"REALITY" Strikes!!!

2008-05-14T12:50:00.003+05:30

The question is not about whether its all a fabricated show as many claim…..And considering the predictions and the result of the recently concluded “Star Singer” this may or may not be true…Oops…think I started this all wrong…After a lot of pondering on what to write about it struck me…its time I put forth my views on the melodramatic mega serials which are out in their new form – the so-called reality shows…As I said, its not abt whether we’re just getting ripped over here with regard to the competition…Lets leav that part for later…Lets take a run through history…It all began with “Sthree”, with its famous “Sthree oru janmam” (Woman one life) title song…And then it was followed by …..hmm….oh ya sthree again….If I remember right there were around three versions of “Sthree” and its variations…Well and good for the channel I guess coz it took up around 4 years to get those women issues cleared!!

I had the bad luck to see some episodes of these monotonously “varying” MEGA-serials in different channels…The modes of torture and intricate planning employed by the characters can be found only in 3 places as of my present count – Indian serials,World War 2 camps and the Al-Qaeda hideouts…So there they were, the women of the country ,stuck to the TV(called idiot box for a reason), watching as “real-life” characters - depicted as the next-door girl or guy - plot to poison their siblings,jump off cliffs and exchange babies!!!!Ofcourse, according to the producers and the advertisers these are everyday happenings in an Indian family’s life… Larger than life(Larger being an understatement) can be equivalent to real life only in the country of Rajnikanth and Mohanlal…..

P.S - I got nothing against those guys...its just co-incidence and the "hard to take in" action scenes which keep reminding me of Rajnikanth

Soon the writers started running out of evil plots and thus we come to the latest incarnation of mega-serials------the reality shows…….We’ve got dance,songs and wat not….It wouldn’t hav mattered and would hav been considered as an amazing talent hunt if it weren’t for the time and the melodrama it takes….Every household now has their own favorite singer,dancer,actor and I’m not talkin about the movies here…Its like an all new EPL – Entertainment Premier League….And when they ended 2007, I sighed with relief but now its bak…Longer and more dramatic the all new 2008 series!!!!!Half the people in the state know about “sangathi”,”plans” and nearly everyones a music critic now….Ofcourse its an entertainer..There are singers and songs(pathetic at time even to my amateur musical ears),dancers and dances(ditto) and over acting “actors”..There’s always a cute girl with a mic,atleast one really irritating judge and more who think they’re really funny..Best of all -we’ve got people crying and faintin on stage..The tension could give a guy heart attack!!What more could a viewer ask for…

Never knew television could be the medium to make half the population sadists…Entertainment at the sake of participant elimination and insulting is definitely fun…And to top it all they’ve got the really irritating and plagiarized background scores for highlighting the depression….Well hav a blast people…Looks like THIS is REALITY!!!!

Shanker

Hmmm....

2008-05-04T01:24:00.000+05:30

Hey…long time no blogging…..well I guess after 3 years of engineerin and life as I live it u kind of get fed up of everything..hehe…really out of topics…startd off with movie criticism, then lyrics assessment and then etc. etc...but then realized didn’t have a mood for writin anything I guess….lol…will get bak to the page after cookin up something…
Adios…

CONCEPT of COLORs

2007-12-07T22:54:00.000+05:30

K..To begin with…I’d like to claim THIS is an epiphany….Nice word..so I just had to do it….anyway back to the concept..I have to admit that this is not even 5% my thought….But I just liked it so much I had to blog it….Credit goes to Riju Mathew, a junior who surprised me(by just having any idea) with this idea…But all analogies n further ideas putforth are copyrighted by me..
The general idea runs that all the colors n visions in the world are just concepts….For each person what others sees is like their dream…You know he can see it but u just don’t know the exact image he has….Now take this….Consider I was born with a “defect” which makes me see all blue as white(we’ll just take those 2 for now)….So, since the day I started learning colors I’ve been forced to call white what we generally deem as white…For all you know I might be looking at blue(or what is generally deemed blue)….Now this might seem confusing takin an individual case….On a more general basis this condenses to sayin that no one sees the same color….i’ve been callin white what has been taught to me as being white and not because I SEE it so…hows that for a fun revelation??so whoever put names for colors had the privilege of naming what HE saw how he wanted and we just followed suite….so when someone showed me a block and said “this color is white”, it should have been just “This is white”…coz on the whole it seems like color is a very vague concept…but frankly I like the white n blue I see, so I’m happy with it I guess…

OUT OF IDEAS!!!

2007-09-23T16:10:00.000+05:30

God!Blogging is tough,,,,I got 2 options..I could just go on about all the trips and fun we have or i could just think of something good to write and catch up with it which i prefer to do... But either way, the fact that in the past few weeks i might be the only one visting my blog is not much of an inspiration...lol...Anyhow just typin some stuff so that i dont lose touch..(in what i wonder!!!)...K anyway...Thanx for reading Shanker
Sd/- Shanker...

ABCD effect

2007-08-27T15:34:00.001+05:30

Now this one's more interesting. Discovered in the DSP class( for the uninitiated thats Digital Signal Processing), this actually is applicable to most of the subjects since class 1. Lets take an example i like to quote for explaining it. The name came up from the very same analogy. The ABCD effects shows itself i 2 ways.

CASE 1: Consider a Class 2 student who missed the whole of Class 1 implying he has no idea what ABCD...Z is and doesnt even know how to write it. For such a guy/gal(though effect is seen more in the former) , when a teacher writes "CAT" its the same effect as looking at a person drawing a hill. For all he knows there's a curve and a few lines on the board. All he can do is take it down, as it is ,and call it "C-A-T" as he's told.. This is case 1 of how we understand DSP.For all i and many others know X[k] looks good and surprisingly is totally different from x[k] or X(k).So we just take it down and accept it as given and call it as series or transforms....

CASE 2: Now consider another Class 2 student who did attend Class 1 but didnt understand a thing of what was happening. Meaning if he sees "CAT", he knows there's a "C"(see) , an "A"(ay) and a "T" (tee). But frustratingly for him, the teacher keeps calling it "CAT" when all he can see is "SeeAyTee". And when asked to spell out "BAT" he can find no letter from A -Z which can make it sound like that. Now considering DSP, even if we get X[k],X(k) or x[k], we have no idea what the heck its useful for. Agreed it might mean Fourier Series or Transform but so??? What could we possibly do with it.

CASE 3 : Then there are the perfect students who know their ABCD's , know how it varies and exactly how and where its used. Yup there are examples of such people in DSP(or any class for that matter) too...

Since if you miss anything in Class1 you dont understand most of Class 2, and so on to Class 3...etc. It can be seen from Mathematical Induction, which i picked up from one of those Classes on the way here, that whatever you miss in Class N, is directly the effect of your non-attentiveness in Class M (M<=N).

Anyway cutting the crap ABCD effect can help to classify all the students in a class...If you manage to classify any other group do let me know, so as to expand the ABCD effect.

Headache Phenomenon

2007-08-27T15:26:00.000+05:30

Lets go with the not so interesting idea first. Aptly named by me(ya..not that humble), the headache phenomenon is something any student <= average in class has witnessed or experience. Ever been caught in class for sleeping, dozing etc.?? Well thats when it hits you. The first thing that comes to your mouth is "Uh...Sir(Madam) headache..."...And an automatic raise of hands to the head. This has become too transparent a trick now. Its time for a change. Try for instance Sinusitis..Works nicely and half the people dont know what exactly is the cause or effect. Or if you aint satisfied with that there's always Google.. Go on get some nice names for headache or cold and WALLAH!! you've got a perfectly opaque escape route from that outward gesture; And if ur lucky enough you can finish that hour sleeping at peace. Anyway this one's just a casual thought and many argue its just my imagination......

UPCOMING POSTS.....

2007-08-15T12:46:00.001+05:30

Coming soon in a PC/phone near you are my new ideas.... Struck with 2 ideas which i have been able to name as will be shown, these two are the products of extreme boredom and an electronics class to attend... Upcoming are:

1. The HEADACHE Phenomenon

2. The ABCD.. Effect

(Please forgive the delay as net access rate is low)

Back Again...

2007-07-28T14:44:00.000+05:30

Back to classes atlast, thought this time we'd make a change and start studying a bit...But its true how they put it "Life doesn't give a guy a second chance"....I mean...comon what else can be said if the situatuin is like this : Out of the 6 subjects we got atleast 4 of them require us to be properly acquainted with SS or Signals and Systems and i can guarantee you that its not one of the most enjoyable subjects in our department......

OH!!ya..Speakin of which.Here's a good one..We got 3 electives in our branch this year,2 of which lack faculty...Thats a good one...So now we got just one core elective which by itself is an oxymoron...

Anyway back to this time's subjects there's one which requires about 4 prerequisites all of which dont exactly make me glad i'm in ECE. So with 1 to 4 and 4 to 1 its like one of those complex mappings which seem so trivial compared to whats incoming now.
And then there's another subject in which half-way through the first class i wondered whether i had registered for the right one. You know like one of those instances where you switch on a channel thinking its the news and halfway through, you realise its totally useless crap!!!(Instance courtesy:Deepak Mohan)...

DWELLING ON DIMENSIONS

2007-06-01T11:27:00.000+05:30

It has been brought to my notice that one of the laws of mine which always joke around with seems to be something to muse about..So here for the first time in writing and in an attempted maximum clarity is Shanker's Law of Dimensions and Shanker's Time Dimension Theorum

1.Without any scientific or complicated experiments,the first law can be observed to be seen throughout the world.
According to the(my),
Law of Dimensions:- When moving through any dimension a dimension of lower order is also traversed.
For Clarity: When moving in 2-d we know that 2 one-d motions are followed.Hence the x and y axises.Similarly it is observed for 3-d,where three 2-ds and three 1-ds are followed.Anyhow the number of lower dimensions traversed is irrelevant.
So if you will accept the above law from everyday observations,we can derive the Time Dimension Theorum.

2.I do not try to prove whether time is a dimension or not.But assuming that it is, then it can be stated that time cannot be the fourth dimension as is disputed. Follow this..... As mentioned above when any dimension of order n is moved along ,then n-1,n-2 etc are also moved along. Any motion in space or in 1-d cannot take place without a corresponding displacement of time since otherwise concepts of acceleration,velocity etc. will become obsolete. But we can also see that,(not considering any other complex dimensions),we will always move through time(aging,rusting etc..) without a necessary movement in any of the other dimensions.So for simplicity of following a generalized observed tendency it would be sensible and convenient to assume Time as the ZERO-th dimension for future references,or to shift all dimensions above time.

WEIRDO ME -part 1,

2007-05-18T08:58:00.000+05:30

I hate to boast but i'm a really weird guy...Here are some things which trigger(in me) some un-explainable sort of lingering dejection..
1. Absence of mobile range
2. Speech to text converters
3. MSN messenger
4. Lizards(ah!yes..those beautifully creepy creatures)
5. Space(up there) and anythin related to it
6. ((more to follow as i remember))

But come to think of it i thought it would be more apt to explain the un-explainable by naming it something...And funnily the name that i felt weirdly suitable when it hit me(the feeling) is Hoglywoop...I guess it all depends on the person a lot, coz for me this is exactly what a hogly woop has the scope of feeling like..I guess it could be called anything else but i'm goin to stick to this..
Hoglywoop(Ho - glee - woo-p) : a weird feeling which has often been described as butterflies in your stomach(which is hard to imagine(for us) and harder still to carry out(for the butterflies).-usually when waitin expactantly for a result,when ur dream girl/guy passes by,nervous and any other feeling which cant be described.

DAY 0 in S'pore

2007-05-17T13:32:00.000+05:30

What was supposed supposed to b a pretty much peaceful trip ended on a not-so-great note.Uneventful and comfortable flights,perfect check-outs but an irritatingly long and unexpectedly compicated check-in at Singapore..Landin at singapore at 8pm(Singapore time) on a perfectly sunny day(which i'm assuming it was for the sake of a professional touch);just steps away from a routine baggage claim and a happy re-union when WHAM!!.Bad-luck would rear itself in the form of a highly irritatin ICA(Immigration n Checpoints Authority)lady and a badly informed immigrant - ME.'Lady',i use coz if she hadnt been so annoyin n imposin she actually cud hav been one.Maybe she just had a bad day or had problems at home but infact I DONT CARE....Well you cant entirely blame her though..Here's my case..I hav no idea where i'm stayin(so no address on the immigration card),thought my bro wud be "feedin" me(so no cash on me and the use of " " will be made clear soon)...Well in short seemed like a perfectli IL-legal immigrant...And lo! behold as true as they say "When it rains,it pours",, my fingerprint turned out to prove that i had lived 19.5 years of lies(or mayb lesser coz i dont exactly remember beyond 10-12 years and 1 day less in 2005)..Proving undoubtedly(assumin fingerprints rarely duplicate) that i was none other than....Gurpreet Singh...Weirdly I had also somehow managed to look better(atleast relatively) than my actual "Singh" identity...Enquiries,negotiations(atleast attempted ones),threatens(including immediate deportation) and nearly an hour later i was out,with a seal that i had to leave the country by may 22nd.For more complex analysis on this just wait........(well..i need time to think of somethin and you need it to get in the proper mind frame)..

RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS..

2007-05-17T12:30:00.001+05:30

A question which affects every human being atleast once in his very confusingly irrelevant lifetime is "Should I or Shouldn't I" in any ridiculous order,give or take a few words..But note that this is ofcourse excluding the usual questions of How,When,Where and my favourite: Why?..(which i dont know)..So while you dwell on this thought and ,dedicatin to Naru who wont read my long blogs let me go on to ponder-"Should or Shouldn't I?" in any ridiculous order,give or take a few words...The result of such a question and execution of the solution can sometimes become extremely dangerous when funnily enough the answer tethers in a dangerously simple manner between Yes and No(again give or take a few words)...Pretty much like the cock layin eggs at the border..You won't know the answer until you get the catch...And now(once again) as you may all(or singular;i'm just being optimistic) have hoped,let me go back to pondering...

PURE CRAP

2007-05-16T09:12:00.000+05:30

It really isn't as simple as i thought to blog around here..Although a considerably long time(8 hours) is spent in front of the computer hmmm..Sorry cant finish it with although.So a considerable time is spent as mentioned,still cudnt do any bloggin...Got some matter though..There would hav been a day by day account if it hadnt been for the above fact and also that beyond Day 0 and Day 1 anythin i could hav typed reduced to abt 2 lines.Unless,of-course, you don't mind the disastrous touch of me just typin as i think(which is what i'm pretty much doin now).But day 0 is pretty interesting(atleast from my point of view) and if i get the time..It'll be comin up soon.So till then take a break.....
NOTE: All this is obviously written with the notion that somebody actually reads this whole thing. If this is not the case then whatever i've written(and in-fact what i'm writin)is of absolutely no use.But if somebody is readin this then i apologise for makin you read this note and as a compensation i disclose that the next NOTE to NOTE is not for you but for those who did not read this and so through very logical reasonin i advise u not to read it..
NOTE to NOTE: Please read the article...And if your readin this then you must have read above which is beginnin to be very confusin and so i'll just stop this topic...

A WORLD MOVIE

2007-05-12T15:51:00.001+05:30

Now hereś a funny one....Was sittin in ET(Electrical Technology) class and the sir (who thinks he´s really funny) started speakin about the fuel prices increasin and stuff.....As usual i started to drift and BANG!! there was an idea......Hereś how it is....It actually works if u consider the whole world as a big stage for some "Tryin to be the best with some dumb story¨ movie as we see in malayalam.....It struck me when he was speakin abt the OPEC countries and all.....Consider that the oil level really is decreasin...Some iraqi scientist discovers that and reports to Saddam....At the same time across the world an american psychologist realizes that the sudden news may topple the world into a time of vandalism and terror(sort of like the Empire endin in the foundation series).....So thios guy reports to none other than Bush....By some turn of fate(which i cant think of a proper explanation for) Bush n Saddam realize that both share some information very crucial for the world....the leaders then think and coughs up an idea to reduce this aftermath(This is becomin more like the Foundation than i thot).....So waalah!(its read with the exclamation..sort of like presto)..The US attacks Iraq who had actually volunteered to do so for a better world....Soon many great leaders are brought in on the secret and a whole fake ¨war¨ is fought......And all the people r ¨captured¨....Well those dead mite be the people who wanted to tell the world the truth and enjoy the destruction......Thus iraq is smoldered and lots of pipelines and oil reservoirs ¨blown up¨.(which were actually empty already......).....As more of the OPEC leaders came to know....With their great thoughts they too decided to volunteer.....And then iran startd arguin with the US(who happpens to be the main role in the setup)....Thus as the world watched the oil got blown up and all and prices started escalatin gradually.....Thus world peace is restored coz the ppl cud see evrythin happen and there wudnt be any sudden news.....Hurray to Bush and hurray to the OPEC leaders....Now if u wanted other stuff in the whole stuff...U wud hav options as shown below
If it was
Malayalam movie : ..U cud have Bush sayin some "age old","heard it before" knock knock jokes, or have someone fallin down when runnin.....That wud be a hit compared to the latest trend....There wud also be some ¨maramchutti premam¨(rotating tree love) btw...say Bush n Rice, Saddam and some girl(u can hav Saddam and some guy version too).....And songs too
Hindi movie : Lots of songs with totally unrelated raps....Some girl tryin to seduce Saddam wearin little or none(the former preferably.We want this past the censor board...Oh and by the way...The "some guy" version wont work here..U´ll just scare away the audience)...
English movie : Lots of kissin and sex for one...No songs at all...But really good background beats....A rocket chasin somebody and he jumps away(This works for all categories)...Lots of unnecessary missiles just for the special effects....
Tamil movie : An obvious Rajnikanth cast....The guns and missiles call for none other....Somethin to do with hairstyles.....Since fuel is low Rajni throws missiles.....He spits one into two usin an axe....etc etc....U all know the classic Rajni jokes.....Oh ya!And songs shot in exquisite places.....

Well thats all i can think up for now....Until next time.....
SM

Chronicles of a Desperate Guy

2007-05-09T10:13:00.000+05:30

Any accounts gonna come up can be classified as a totally new blog under the title of Chronicles of a Desperate Guy.. for many reasons...Anyway lets start with my crapping......

I'm BACK

2007-05-09T10:09:00.000+05:30

Well here, i am back after a long break..Got a 3 months long totally worthless vacation..So its back to bloggin(atleast hopefully)..I'm done with the intros...So here goes...
Well in the midst of the 3 months hols i'm in singapore...And its gonna be a very borin nearly 6 weeks long "visit"...So from Day 0 here's how it is...Adios...

LETS GO!!!

2006-07-10T19:28:00.000+05:30

K...This time some serious reconsidering has led me to feel that just typing stuff as u think abt it might actually turn out to give some entertaining accounts....So again if my damn laziness permits i mite try and pep up some stuff and get something goin in this blog.....As the intro said more than abt MY life....this is abt LIFE as i see it..Its not a borin account of emotions(welll thats not the plan atleast)..but rather its a boring account of ....uh...watever thats gonna be written here......blah blah......Anyway as for now...Classes all starting up tomorrow....Its back to the same old borin drowsin in classes,playin the addictive CowsnBulls(seriously gotta sue LnD for bringin it to my attention),irritatin teachers behind their backs,the phenomenal art of passin chits with absolute crap as though they cant wait any more than that hour to be transmitted,msgin under the desk(the total lack of ´g´ in all the -´ing´ words is an obvious example of that....),proxys(frankly i´ve never been in the givin or receivin end of one....Hopefully this year!!)etc. etc....(No time to think of anymore)....Oh!ya!and the constant drone of someone in the front(the one who we were irritatin) and scratchy noises on the board(the only useful thing of that is that atleast then the above mentioned will turn to show their backs so we can start the above said).......Yup!its all gonna be borin....Still...... with all the dumb red tape and the constant shuttling between buildings(seems like they were built just for that) doubt when we can really settle down...Hopefully soon enuf.....Well,K!Until next time...adios......
STH

THE HILL and MORE

2006-03-23T14:35:00.000+05:30

This was one original post by the author in the motherblog THAT IS THA!!! along with others..And wishes it to remain as it is his(my) first blogging experience..:
Huff!!!! Our Mechanics exam got over at last......We had expected it to be bad but we were wrong it was the worst exam till date....As usual we were the first ones out well before the 3hr time limit setting a great example for those to follow.Whats the use of sitting in a hall in front of sheets of paper when theres no difference in ur marks if ur in or out.And we didnt see the point in makin the exam 3hrs coz almost on a daily basis 2 hrs were more than enough..(or atleast for what we knew)..Happy(well actually, just mutual reassurance) over the fact that evryone in the group did badly we started chatting with the gorgeous ladies of our gang who we dont think found it necessary to stay on after we walk out....We started walking with them to the canteen and ordered some fresh juice....Daffy,"hey guys i aint gonna pay for this,my treat is on the 24th rite"....Hari,"Ok dude jus chill...i'll pay"....Well..ok money matters are a bit discussed problem in our gang coz some ppl pull out the greens while others take 'em....The gals went coz the matron is a demon and makes life hell for these poor gals who hang out with supercool and superdecent dudes(obviously,us)....To celebrate our bloody performance in the exam we decided to take a walk thru the path to introduce to the guys who'd missed out the first time the areas which were gonna be our hang out...Daffy,"Its been a long time since we came rite"...Yadu,"My mech exam guys......"....Pai,"Why the fuck r u dejected man,evryone performed badly"...Hari(laughing),"and i am plannin to get a back"...so we talked abt this for a long time and luckily some bright guy changed topics to kore interesting ones...switched to the latest 'affairs' in the college and the gals....of course we had our own rating for them....we award a 9 out of 10 if the face looks cute and the body parts r in rite proportions and 3-4 otherwise..Well soon we had to stop rating 'em coz of the increasin number of 3's and 4's....so we walked and walked and then reached "THE HILL"....That is one area where we suddenly become these nature admiring geeks.The view from there is a best example of "JAW DROPPING".Its absolutely perfect with a huge quarry on one side and mountains on all the other..The only problem was the stupid college right there in the middle.But we had to admit,--if we dint realize that was what the buildin was, it DID perfectly blend in.At times greens r a luxury and we cudnt help but enjoy it for a while.Then we set off again through the serene countryside....In the midst of all this we started discussing abt our trip to the city with the gals..an outing actually,Pai,"hey shank why should we include those people who don give a damn abt us and r jus comin with us jus to get out of the hostel...."...Daffy knew that he was pointing out someone...and they exchanged hot words.Not wantin to interfere we just let them talk it off coz this was happenin too often to care..But guess everything happens for a reason..Coz Yadu,Naru,Varun and Shank were walkin in front to ease the tension.We were showin Varun the surprisingly ill placed well when they saw a snake skin.Well that wasnt a daily site.so someone had to go n get it..But we dint hav ny straws to draw either..Then we saw the best way out-The guy who gets PUSHED IN gets the skin.And bein the smallest yadu was an obvious choice for the other 3.But wasnt a bit late b4 they realized that the skin wasnt alone-IT still housed the snake.That sight was more than enough for him to break the sound barrier..Guess the snake wasnt so brave either and a second later it was seen slithering away,either scared OR mockin yadu..Then came Naru with a "brilliant idea".-
"Lets use these snake skins to create necklaces and clothes.Or maybe as protection coz these were biodegradable".Luckily for him we excused him for the fashion buff that he was and skipped the GPL which was actually warranted then.But still the skin came along with us for a distance.And one sniff was enough to make Naaru change his mind about stickin it up his Sergeant .Happy at the discovery (that snake skin is yucky to touch and stinks) we, continued down the lane and reached a bridge OK....but it was a beautiful scene...hehe......we stood in the middle of the bridge and made paper rockets out of the Mechanics question paper thankin god for helpin us find one useful thing out of it.....and started checkin out its aerodynamic feasibility....
Yikes....it was already 3 pm...we had walked for nearly 1.5 hours....so we started heading back to the hostel.....suddenly....Tring tring....Shank,"Hello..."....Anj,"Could we jus change our plans...paro's mom aint so happy about the idea of a beach in the mornin...."...It was obvious for a girl to make last minute changes...Conclusion-"Lets keep thinkin.Somethin mite come up"......so we all left for the hostel straight away coz it was bcomin late......
Sd/- Shank(Daffy)

ANOTHER ONE!!!!

2006-03-23T14:16:00.000+05:30

Here's another one from one of the authors of THAT IS THA!!!First of all...Why the title...But guess that one doesn't demand much explanations...When ur feeling really stuck in problems and then u see a ray of hope, this is what u feel like cring "LAND AHOY!!!!".So basically this is about the problems,when u sight the solutions,more problems in the solutions etc.etc......In simple words its about LIFE....So watch out on how it moves in my point of view....For now ASTALAVISTA.....
NOTE: I vhanged the title..So all this makes absolutely no sense...