In an era of constant discussions
regarding the uses, addictions etc of Internet usage and computers in general,
I thought it would be interesting to give a perspective of how the different
phases of friendship develop over the digital spectrum. Sparking the growth of
relations used to be a very simple affair before the advent of internet. Along
the different stages, before phones, I can only assume that it essentially
needed direct contact. Probably letters played a key role as well inorder to
keep in touch with “long lost friends”. I remember a time where there even used
to be the thrill of buying a Season’s greetings card and sending it. Addresses
had more meaning than IP or email.
The next phase, more relevant to
the late 90’s were the phone years. You meet a person, become acquaintances and
then continue “hanging out” or talking for a long time. The next stage was
exchanging phone numbers. The occasional call, the long talks became essential.
But being at a fixed location was mandated. This implied that having a landline
was not only essential but most useful as well. Landline bills running into the
1000’s became common. Mobility was fixed though and setting up plans involved
carefully planned timings and no last minute changes unless everyone was around.
Blank calls were so common where you have that awkward moment of the friend’s
relatives picking up and you really don’t want to say much to them. It had to
either hope that it would be quick or try your luck next time.
The stages have evolved today.
From simple interactions to letters and then to phone calls, today
relationships are maintained over stages. Each stage can also be described as a
level higher in the bonding cycle.
The stages defined are just a
generic opinion, it would depend largely on the individual’s comfort levels as
well.
STAGE 1 : The initial contact for most cases is
thankfully still personal interaction. But unlike the yesteryears the
maintenance is largely online or when not on face to face terms, Although there
have been many instances of great friends and even more being formed over
random introductions across the internet. Most common platform this is FB today.
STAGE 2 : Then comes the build up
period. Now the strength of the relation is defined by the communicating medium
used. These span phases which have been dynamically adjusting to the newly
introduced softwares and apps. It used to be a simple matter of Contact -> Phone -> Online chat but
this too has evolved. Phone period itself can be hierarchically classified as
Messages - > Calls
STAGE 3 : Getting closer. With
the new changes, phones were bumped up . Online chats became much more common,
and the degree of closeness was stronger when numbers were shared post that.
The order still remained with direct calls forming the stronger connect at the
end
STAGE 4 : With the constant
connect opportunities like FB messenger, Watsapp and BB messenger. Online chat
bumped down.. they became casual everyday objects of conversation just as you
would talk to the person sitting around you at work or class. The new hierarchy
formed involved much more use of the phone but less as a calling device. But
still the “pinging” apps came after online chat, stronger than messages but I
would still assume lesser than calls. This stage has evolved in such a way that
a large amount of time is spent in this period. Creating more opportunities but
diluting the strength of actual bonds. The elongated period resulted in larger
numbers, which in effect caused distribution of bond perception which a person
might have.
At the current point of
evolution, the order is defined as:
Contact -> Online Chat -> First phone
call for reason -> Messages -> “Ping” Apps -> Random Calls
These are just ramblings based on
general observations. But if you think about it, they more or less come across
in some phased hierarchy for all contacts you have made. J
