Complimenting - An ART!!

They say it’s the thought that counts. From years of experience, I can confidently say “I couldn’t disagree more!!” It is apparently an art you really have to master to survive in the world. I’m not talking about honing the hidden sycophant skills or trying to be that detested person who’s got his lips all over the wrong cheeks! Even a casual day’s conversation does not seem to pass off as reasonable unless it is inundated, at least ever so slightly, with a few words of praise. The whole deal becomes troublesome when the target of the compliment tries to read- in to the casual statement. There are 2 possible scenarios which end up making the whole art of complimenting a topic to be discussed:

1. Too Little Too Late – Let’s say you want to appreciate it, him/her. But you’re not the typical compliment giving individual. Inevitably whatever you say in an attempt to make it a casual statement would be preyed on as being too little. Worse yet would be the interpretation that since you have not praised it high and far, you must DEFINITELY be making fun of it!! I have tried to explain, without much luck, to many people that my art of complimenting would involve subtle hints and rare direct comments. Never works out though.. You really have to put it across in words that could put Keats to shame! That brings us to the second scenario…

2. Too Much – Now if you fall under the category of people who genuinely want to compliment, then you have to be careful about your intended target. There are cases where the statements would be unadulterated , “from the heart”, but still will be twisted and construed to be taken as an insult or a mocking. But more often than not, the intended target would appreciate the comment. This is the basic “funda” behind compliments wherein people ALWAYS want to feel good.

This evaluation will lead to the conclusion than in reality it might be better to be artificially mocking than genuinely casual! J

It is not just giving a compliment that’s an art; receiving one too is quite a pain to master. Many a time I have been told how smart and handsome I am but I just don’t know how to take all that attention! Who are we kidding! But I assume the point is made. There are the sorts who would grill you till you make a compliment and then others who wouldn’t know how to react for a genuine one. What would a normal response be to a genuine compliment? The various interpretations that can be derived due to the many variety of people around, risks a response to be limited to a murmur and a shrug. But then again, even that would come out as a haughty wat of putting “Oh..I know!.what to doooo…”. How about the casual harmless ”thankyou”? But then again, that too comes off as “ya ya…I completely agree I’m awesome”. Then, there is the other group who will deem you as the worst thing that happened in this world after Edward did to the Vampire clan. Irrespective of whether you perceive them to be deserving of a compliment or not, you HAVE to say it! They rarely have an issue with responding to appreciation. If they do, it would be the funniest thought process conceivable :

*Before Compliment : “Why won’t he say I look good. Disgusting Guy”

*After compliment : “.Say something.. say something!!" "Aww...Teehee.” *giggle**giggle* *PUKE*!!

When you ask for it, more often than not, you are ready for it! So they definitely know what to say.

This post is definitely not a lesson on giving or receiving a compliment. Coz frankly, I’m the last person you could approach for that. But before signing it off , here are the NEVER MIX and MATCH combinations.

· Never mix and match a person who compliments less, with a compliment seeker. If this ever happens, you are in for a lot of complaining and accusations!

· Never mix and match an extensive “complimentor” with one who can’t take it. Misunderstanding and misinterpretations are inevitable.

So bring it on! I can take it. Compliment me all you want!

P.S : The dripping artificiality in this post makes it one of my worst ever!

Of Queues, Lifts and Dimwits

Running out of ideas always leads to the desperate effect of having to mix a few smaller ones. With the “Random Thoughts” series boring even me out, on a second read, I thought I’d account some view points on everyday matters that we talk about. Another topic to be handled was “Toilets, And what we do in them”. Well…not exactly a part of my daily conversation as they are of my daily activities but when it came up, I really did have some ideas of my own. But that’s a story for another day...

DISCLAIMER: Opinions listed below are sadly made from observation of Indians

From casual analysis and jobless statistics taken from across work, malls and any reasonable conglomeration of human beings which I have attended, there is good reason to believe that the act of having to wait in line for your turn is somehow a herculean task for them. There are a few possible scenarios where this impatience is highlighted and really gets on your nerves.

Scenario 1: The Normal Queue

Now here we all are.. Waiting in line for our turn to get a ticket, get some food etc. And in comes our protagonist. Now there are terms such as “like he owns the place”, “like it’s his father’s house” etc which can state in a clichéd manner the arrogance involved, but let’s go deep into that dimwitted skull of his. What would a person, who cuts in, actually be thinking?

JA: Ooohhh.. There’s a huge line of people standing. I wonder whats up?

*Notices a girl 100 meters away looking in the completely opposite direction

JA : She looks cute! Must play hard to get… I’m so smart..

*Reaches the end of line

JA : Wow! There are 23 people in front of me. If I walk ahead 8 spaces there will be 15 in front of me and 8 behind me. I wonder how many people will be there in the queue at that time.

*Moves ahead 8 spaces by just barging in

*Counts on fingers

JA : Now there are 24 people in the line.Dooooooddd awessssommmme! This is fun.. Should try again.

And with this retarded line of thought, which in his mind seems purely logical and quantitatively practical, the hero cuts across 23 stunned faces to discover its always 24. At this point he realizes he’s at the head and does not require any more mind numbing exercises to keep him busy and carries on with the task at hand.

(Adaptation is purely author’s imagination. Expectations have been kept at maximum)

Scenario 2 : The Double-Ended queue

Now sadly enough, there are times when the head of a queue cannot be specifically pointed out, especially if you are new around. These can get really irritating if, at some point of time, there are 10 people on one side and 2 on the other facing the initial group like someone called for a Wild West shootout! The reasoning capabilities of the duo would amaze you and I can’t even bare to imagine what goes through that head of theirs. You end up wondering whether the whole point of standing in the queue all this while was to be given the honor of coming face to face with these stunning minds. There they stand with a smug smile which could almost be interpreted as “Bwahahah… Noone else saw the shortcut. I am so sma…” *SLAP*. Totally worth it!

Scenario 3 : The Lift

Now the final group described here are the lift takers. These again can be split into 2 groups which sometimes overlap to create an unbelievably arrogant bunch of lift “goons”.

The first group consists of the ones coming in. You don’t need a phD to know that a lift is smaller than the waiting area and people who want to come out would definitely prefer to be out. Unless you happen to be really good looking and of the gender that interests them, rarely would they want to wait and watch how you enter before deciding to walk out themselves. But as fate may have it, this train of thought never passes their impatient minds and they just assume that anyone who wants out should have taken the floor above.

The second group makes up the Ronaldos of the lift. You know that pose he strikes before taking a free kick and also of the arrogance involved in it; well that’s exactly how they stand at the door of the lift.
Anyone who wants to go out will have to go “over their dead body” or will just have to wait for his floor. You could also try crawling past his legs but then you have to watch out for the entering goons.

The scenarios listed are definitely not an exhaustive list but they ARE some of the highlighted ones. Usual lines which you could use at such scenarios include : “Excuse me.”, “Please stand in the queue” or the typical Indian, “uhh..Halo mister??”.

And then there are the more complicated ones :

- “You think we are standing for fun?” (Cliched)

- *Handing cash to guy : “While you’re at it could you get mine too?”

Well there are lots I’m raring to try since I regretfully face a lot of them. So if you got any more, keep them coming.. J

By the way I never say I’ve not done the same (though I always try not to) but then again I already admitted to be a hypocrite. Bwahahah…

Shanker

Fanfare makes a fair fan???

So what exactly is it that gives people this all-so-famous fake feeling of ownership. To begin with I have to admit that I am not a hard core supporter of any team; in any sport. Unless there is India, an Indian or a fellow mallu (Indian again but with deeper traceable roots allowed) involved I wouldn’t exactly be able to pick a team. But extreme peer pressure and the need to have something to look forward to while tipping my drink, always makes me pick a side.

All games which don’t involve our country require me to go through a tedious process of elimination to choose a team to root for. Now for the record, this does NOT involve morsels of food placed in boxes within my reach. In the case of such a situation arising, the decision would be purely based on quantity, given that the quality is maintained the same.

Anyway…. I do not consider this “inability” a curse; (No! I am not referring to the morsel-craving; back to the game) I would rather say it’s a relief, since on the occasion of a defeat to the exalted winner- of the aforementioned nomination procedure - I can still go on leading a normal life without feeling the need to proclaim my ability to play better than the players who live by it. I am also lucky to be exempted from that feeling of ownership I was talking about, where I have to deal with the pressure of “My/Our team is playing today” , “We always come back from behind” or worse yet the decisions such as “I think we should play XYZ instead of PQP today”!!!

The enthusiasm shown by these kinds of “fans” (read multitalented personnel who can pitch in as player/coach/owner) can only be understood with the ultimate ability of imagination and spirituality, to the extent of nirvana, which cuts you off from the real world. Their(senseless) belief that the team they support and they themselves merge into one, can only be compared to the Supreme Being concept of the fictional planet Gaia of Foundation Series*. The sadder thing though is the non-existent timeline for these nerve creeping fans. Not even the players would bother about that 32^nd minute mistake made 3 years ago. But our folks would hear nothing of it – a victory is an expected elation while a mistake is an anecdote for life! A conversation over coffee would be decorated with “My team…that day…”..”We should have scored”..Even the lower limit of the year of birth would not hinder their memories what with “WE” winning in 1912, 1956, 1987 and not to mention 2034. Obviously 2 of these would be a deadly disastrous combination – “We got you”, “You shouldn’t have done that to our player” and an occasionally entertaining throw of punches.

Though I complain, I have to admit the watch wouldn’t be a fun occasion if 70 odd people sat peacefully sipping their drinks, with as much interest as Sachin Tendulkar would have in proof reading this post! BUT...then again..”Get a life!”...Well all I can say for now is “Whatever keeps you happy”; as long as it is not in a normal being’s face.

I’ll tell you one thing though, WE won in 1975 and again in 1983 too.. (Go google) J

*FOUNDATION SERIES: A MUST READ for sci-fi lovers.

P.S: Why the heck does WORD check think I would prefer one or three dots instead of 2?..

Shanker

Race of Life

There is one point that we all can agree with. The world is a race. Every single person is running his/her own race. The difference is in how we perceive the race. For some it is a sprint, where your target is the person in front of you. A relative race; where you judge your performance by a scale graded with the names of every single person around you. The second category is running an Endurance race where they push themselves irrespective of where they are in the larger race. Each day they set a higher target and victory is gained irrespective of who was competing along with them. A majority of the world is toned to fall under the former category, where they are made to believe that their success is not in doing their best, but doing better than the best.

Is it easier to set a target independent of you or to compete with yourself? A motivated sprinter would definitely make it good due to the abundant sources of targets available. But what exactly is the level of satisfaction here. With the whole concept of “the grass is greener on the other side”, wouldn’t it just be an endless series of seemingly sadistic victory dances only to realize there is one more “better” to best. The endurance racers on the other hand achieve an easier satisfaction with just being able to reach their set target. Well, the major fault here is that since the target is set by youself, your “laziness/motivation” plays an important role. Happiness, to the grade of ecstasy, could be achieved by just being able to wake up early or pass an exam. But then there is also the factor that a motivated Endurance racer always knows the target. The factor of ambiguity which can be found for a Sprinter does not exist. Here’s where I pull out an analogy which I assure you is NOT taken from personal experience. It’s a typical case of a fat guy running a marathon as compared to a seasoned runner. The former is just happy to be able to run an extra mile each year while the runner has set himself a higher target. On a quick look, it may seem like the runner is at a higher “success level” but let’s consider a few factors. The miles covered by the first guy do not change over the years; his competition is constant – himself. Now add in a new runner into the marathon, one who’s been working hard to beat our seasoned runner and you got yourself a whole chase going on, where each year, one of the two is definitely going to be dissatisfied with his performance.

While our super go lucky hero is content with himself, being able to stay on his feet after quarter the way!.

You can imagine a dumb content smile here considering the plump guy is always the dumb one on TV..What’s the deal with that anyway???

So here’s the question, which one is right? Then again there is always the fact that right and wrong is a purely relative concept. So which one would YOU say is right? Compete with the world? Or Compete with yourself??

Live YOUR life.. :)

Shanker

WAY of the MALLU....

It’s basic mathematics. The Indian population seems to be on a constant rise and the ratio of mallus you knock elbows with on the road as compared to others, seems to remain a constant (or even higher). Considering the fact that the percentage of mallus remain the same (or even more) even while the absolute number of Indians is increasing, and the claim of 100% literacy, it all boils down to one logical possibility – Sex education is not part of the Indian “literacy” syllabus.. But wait, I digress.. It is not the number that amazes me, it is the wide distribution of the “mallu” clan.. Of course; if you want to find one, the most logical search locations would be every nook and corner of the 14 districts of the Mother-ship – Kerala, and its annexure the “GELLF”. It is ALSO quite obvious that given the abundant sources, a normal human being (non-mallu one) would be glad not to meet one when he’s ambling down the road miles away from the aforementioned locations. But the law of inevitability states that, “If you’re on earth and minding your own business you will inevitably pass a mallu”. Being one myself along with the added advantage of staying with most of the various kinds of mallus – northie mallu , NRI mallu, Konkani mallu – it is only basic courtesy that I provide a handbook for.. “THE WAY of the MALLUUU”..

Lesson 1

Identifying a mallu

1.Food: one word : COCONUTS….

2. One of the simplest ways of identification, is a unique clothe style called the “lungi” or its formal counterpart the “mundu”. In general both can be defined as : “Hanging piece of clothe starting from the waist - covers till legs when worn normally, but can be folded up at times of aggression, casual walks or for intended “cool” looks.” Differentiating a lungi from a mundu is just a matter of identifying the maximum number of colors mixed into a design that can only be found in some psychedelic Media Player Visualizations.. But wait! Its not as simple as it sounds. There is a specific way the lungi is tied in kerala.. See picture for future identification reference.

3.He’s not wearing a lungi, but you think he’s a mallu? Talk to him… A classic touch which mallus give to their pronunciation of words is a complete inability to stop breathing sound, even when the word has ended. The Result : Words with “sound tails” . You’ll hear a lots of fooduh, drinksuh, whatuh…

4.You think there’s no lungi and the word-brake system is flawless? Keep Talking! Just try to make sure he uses words with the proper “identification vowels”. Things you could look out for: Modification, pollution, parents - Watch out for the totally unintended “ohhh”s of realization and the “aah”s of retardness if you stop them at the right places in the middle of these words.

Another technique to identify a mallu is to get him to meet another one. Now here are some characteristic conversations you may hear.

2 MALLUS

Mallu1 : Hi. I’m from Kerala

Mallu2: Ohh. Evidenna (Where from? )

M1: Ohh…malayaleeya, le. Njan Cochin. Evidenna? (Oh..malayalee,uh? I’m from . Where you from?)

Its like peace wont settle into their mallu reunion unless they assure each other they are not neighbors* or long lost brothers!

*Neighbor(in mallu) : anyone within 20km from your home town.

Mallu with NRI Mallu

Mallu : I’m from Kerala

NRI Mallu : Oh. I’m a malayalee too.

Mallu : oh.nice. where from ?

NRI Mallu : Dubai (or Oman, muscat etc..)

And then there’s that awkward pause where Mallu waits for the NRI to realize his intentions of asking the question were as explained before, at the same time recalling which of his mother’s uncle’s son’s in-law’s friend works in the same place. As soon as NRI Mallu realizes his mistake and utters the name of the biggest city within 50 km of his actual place, the mallu bonding starts and the NRI prefix is lost into a happy reunion.

And to top it all, we have the irresistible urge to zoom in and congregate with anyone and anything that seems even remotely mallu!

And some Malluism :

1.No place, work or title shall be left unexplored

2.Every famous person worth something would have their roots, really deep down somewhere interacting with one mallu or the other

3.Mohanlallll. Mammoootyyyy

4.Where there is land, there is a malayalee and hence a Kerala restaurant.

Well no offense people.. I’m one typppickal mallu and totally out of ideas for now. Until the next time.

Tataa…..

CORPORATE LIFE - People

So I’ve already had a post on what I learnt from 6 months of corporate life. They were more of observations than any good guidelines. Considering the fact, that I’m nearing a year into “office life” and also, that rarely do I get the urge to blog now - owing to the slow decomposition of my remaining brain cells – I have decided to come up with this post. The original plan is to provide a “things to do” that is conventionally not given out in the Corporate Handbook.

But first another piece of observation. There are broad categories into which the people at work can be classified into:

1. SMILE acquaintances: People you have never met but you just end up smiling to, holding the door for or saying an occasional “hi” to when you pass by. These people are generally not even in your service line. You just happened to smile at them one day and now you just have to keep it up!

2. WORK acquaintances: Yes, I agree. All the people around are at the same work place as you are. But there is a general category of people who you can specifically call “WORK acquaintance”. Those under this category are the people on your floor/service line/ Line of Business (whatever you call it) but not directly related to you. You have been introduced to them but you never really had to interact with them. He/she just happened to be a friend of your “PROJECT/TECHNOLOGY acquaintance”.

3. PROJECT/TECHNOLOGY acquaintance : These people are your direct point of contact for anything and everything related to work. You may or may not to choose to hang out with them outside office hours. But during office hours they are your closest “friends”. Usuall, more out of helplessness than choice.

4. WALKOVER acquaintance: Your bored. Your fed up and you just want to quit! That’s when these people come handy. These are the people you can just walk over to….chit chat for a while..have a few laughs with and return to your seat.

5. WHO-THE-HELL acquaintances : Never seen them before and you’d think that every single time you see them,UNLESS you end up smiling at them or vice versa. But you get the point…

6. POC acquaintances : In a world with loads of skill distributed in a completely erratic and illogical manner you are SURE to be the Point of Contact for something. Even if it is “the guy with an extra pen”. So these are the people who keep coming back to you for the reasons you “excel”.

7. WORK-AND-OUT acquaintances : Your buddies at work. These people are the ones you would choose to hang out with inside OR outside at work. If you were living in a sane world with no cubicles, no bores (a noun implying a person) and no work – these are the people you’d call - friends.

P.S : The various categories listed are not purely exhaustive. I'm guessing it covers up a large part of the people around and on most cases the categories overlap a lott!!

DISCLAIMER : These are opinions and categorisations of the author and not to be officially recounted

Well, guess this post turned out longer than I thought. Well I’m saving up the “guidelines” for another day in that case..

Adios
Shanker

Just a hypocrite....

I did not cry but nor can I say that tears did not come to my eyes. Call me a loser, call me a sissy. Call me whatever you like but for a fact I know what I actually am. A pure hypocrite. This blog is not a review of the movie at which my first sentence holds good : “My Name is Khan”(from the epiglotis). This is about something I realized while I was watching it. The tears or the feeling of sadness(to put it a bit manly) were NOT for Kajol or the suffering Khan(who, I have to admit, pulled off the role pretty well but at the same time gave me the image of not having to work too much to “act” new). It was not about the loss of a son or the life of a mentally challenged character. It was about the plight of the world. The acts of cruelty, the misunderstandings and also a feeling of detached pride in random acts of unity. Scenes portraying the patriotic, nationalistic and stray incidents of unity and courage always gave me goosebumps and what can be termed as “welling of the eyes”. For those of you who did watch the Khan as Khan flick, some scenes I can quote as examples are 1) the search at the airport, 2) Sam’s incident 3) the Georgia incident : not Shahrukh going over but when his relatives, and friends come to help. At the same time the scenes which irked me included the US teacher talking about “Islam” and the talk by the “doctor” to inspire Jihadism but there again the correct interpretation provided by Khan gave a sense of righteousness to the set. It is not religion, it is not nationality, nor race, colour, language that diversifies man. It is the good and the bad. Quoting another famous flick “You either die a hero or live long enough to be a villain”. The same way as absence of light is darkness, inaction or the absence of good is bad/evil. But I shall not stray into my “philosophies” on religion or “humanity” in this blog. Throughout the movie I felt that sadness due to the stereotyped portrayal of a specific set of people; be it religion or color.

That’s where I come in. On reading an article related to the Indo-Pak venture “Aman ki aasha”, I realized more than half of what they wrote was true. I would recommend the article for those who are interested. Our image of a topi(Taqiyah in Arabic) wearing man with long beard and robe has been combined with the same images of that person sitting around tables hatching plans to blow up a landmark. The media, movies and every single form of communication have shown remade “adaptations” of these images. Regardless of the number of disclaimers on being shown these two images side by side any person would just “logically” reason out a bunch of crap. Why not a man with a tshirt and jeans? Why not a guy in a coat?? It’s an image that generates a thought; an idea. I am not going to use any general terms here. Coz on contemplating at the end of the movie, I realized one thing I am just a HYPOCRITE. Just a day before I had these “fake emotions” flowing in, I was roaming around Hyderabad . As usual, lost and far from home!(I seriously should get a GPS and map while driving). At a point where I was definite I was going the wrong way, I stopped to ask directions. The person I happened to stop near was the typical stereotyped “long beard, topiwala” and my first response was “Would he really give me the right direction”. Disgusting. For the record, the way I asked him or talked to him did not get affected by this and he was a very pleasant man. Then WHY this stupid misconception. Why that thought!! Even after the movie and on hearing about the Pune blast my mind rushed to that spot. He was getting off a scooter. Boom!! This is me. I give a load of crap about being righteous, about being against religious fanaticism(which I strongly AM against) but at the same time I think like this. I fear/doubt an image. Why is it that we are made to believe that he or any man who looks like that can’t be our neighbor, manager or friend! It is not just the world that bothers me, nor the media. Right now it is me. And how much of a hypocrite I am. To all those people out there to whose images I have attached incidents : I can’t stop thinking or imagining but please accept my apologies.

P.S : I know for a fact, i do not speak about just myself here.

Later,
Shanker

Lessons learnt in the Corporate

Some things I learnt in the corporate world

1. If you are early your manager will definitely be at his seat.
2. If you’re late and rushing to make it in my time your manager will be late that day.
I SAY: I have no idea how this works and I should actually be happy since it’s actually better than having it the other way around. But it kind of gets on your nerves when you are just rushing to make it on time and reach there to realize no one is there yet! If there was some form of consistency, things would have been a lot easier at work.

3. There is always someone else in the bathroom at any given point of time during the day.
I SAY: This is another thing I don’t get. Irrespective of the number of people on the floor on a given weekday there is definitely going to be

a) Someone else in the bathroom when you enter
b) Someone entering the bathroom while your inside
c) Someone pushing the door while your pulling it to go out

It’s not like I take THAT much time!! And I’m just talking about the basic usage here!!

4. When your boss comes up behind you, it would inevitably be seconds after you minimize the actual work you are supposed to be doing.
I SAY: You know what I’m talking about. Regardless of how hard you were working, the moment you decide to take a break would be the moment that “rarely visiting” super boss of yours decides to make an appearance.

5. If you change screen in a hurry to hide what you were doing you’ll definitely end up with something worse.
I SAY: Although I have to confess that this could be a direct cause of the multiple useless tabs I keep open, it really is irritating. When you’re in situation 4 and you just want to act busy again. No amount of ALT + TAB will get you to your actual work!!

6. For any given day, the time spent for lunch by your manager and team is inversely proportional to your own lunch break .(This is only applicable if you aren’t eating with them)

7. If you’re in a hurry the elevator will stop at the maximum number of floors.

8. If there are 3 or 4 rooms in a line and you have booked one of those for a meeting, 90% of the time the room you booked will be occupied and the others will be free!

Well that’s about it for now. The corporate life has corroded my senses. Got a few posts on hold… Later then..

RANDOM THOUGHTS - 2

Since I haven’t written for a while I thought I’d drop in a few points about some things that run through my mind but which in effect make no sense or are just not worth bothering …

P.S - this is my worst post ever

1. If I were in your shoes/place : Now we’ve all come across this situation where you are in a predicament or in the middle of a problem. In more informally “formal words” you have got yourself stuck in depth in some fecal remains. So there we are… Wondering what to do..whats next, when someone comes over and says (please read in a deep voice) “Hey..if I were in your place.. “.. Here you are trying to solve some issues of your own and you have to add to that someone’s imaginary problems??? Comon..think about it.. All these “if”s are just a whole lot of imaginary scenarios which gives the speaker never dreamt of powers.. But never tone it down.. If I guy is looking for a chance to boost his ego, let him do it..poor soul… And then pray that he never does be in your place.. Or if you’re a sadist pray that he does.. Look at it this way. If the “if” made any sense I’d just walk over to my boss right now and say “Hey, if I were in your place I’d give myself a raise”.. But funnily enough doesn’t work that way..

2. Assumptions: People are born with these.. The baby assumes he’s giving us a fun time.after a while he doesn’t realize we are thinking “if I were in your place I wouldn’t be so mean”. The lower primary kid thinks he’s the smartest guys around and all those people who are older are just too dumb to understand that. The high school kid thinks he’s the coolest guy around and assumes he understand what’s happening in class.. The college guy thinks pretty much the same thing along with that funny idea that he knows what he wants in life (and wife).. I haven’t gotten very far past that point…So if I update this in 40 years or so, I’ll fill in the rest of a human cycle. So people assume.. Just like I assume I have readers.. So there’s no point being bothered about assumptions. Positive assumptions are always great.. Keeps u boosted for no particular reasons. But then again negative assumptions are fine until it becomes a surety.. coz then it isn’t an assumption anymore… A fact is harder to handle… And I’m just assuming all this made any sense..

3. Selflessness : ah! Yes..this is something I consider very funny.. Let me put it straight. There’s not one person in this world who has done anything without having their own interest in mind. Not me, not you and not Edward of Twilight fame! :P.. I know you can quote hundreds of instances of selfless acts by people, by famous personalities but for each instance I can break it down so that it shows the selfish nature of humanity. Even leaders of mass organizations are in effect working for personal gains. Agreed, others gain by it too.. But that’s where I draw the line between the word definition of selfishness and my definition of selfishness.

SOME QUOTES :

1. "Its not about what you do its about what you say."

2. Please generalise this one to your comfort : "They think everything is about them and when it actually is, they just don't get it"

3. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Ok..Frankly I’m totally out of ideas..!! If I were in your place I’d just read all my older posts but then again……… :)

My Regular Day

My next planned blog was supposed to be something serious. But I couldn’t help writing this one!!

A day at work (where I currently am)..

A day at my work(which excludes Thu-Fri) can be defined in a very logical manner and a perfect algorithm. Funnily enough coz the work I do requires neither logic nor an IQ for that matter. So here’s how it is

Step 1 : Access Client system
Step 2: Check number of tickets
Step 3 : Detect processible ticket while wondering about all the other ones which are just lying in your bucket for days…
Step 4: Open ticket
Step 5 : Open authorization form
Step 6: Check signature
//The most complex part comes here at which point my brain creaks into motion//
If form has all necessary signature create/change/remove/do something! to user ID
ELSE reassign to respective people.
Step 7 : Goto Step 1 until we have only non-processible tickets to sit and wonder about
Step 8 : Sit simply
Step 9 : Check time.sit simply
Step 10 : Loop step 8 and 9 till time = 8:00pm.
Step 11 : Leave to die of boredom another day.
Its fun… :)

The argument you may have here is that all work have this. Well I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact that in a 7-day week (as all weeks are) I am stuck 3 days(MTW) with a floor full of similarly pissed people, 2 days(TF) with a laptop and no people and the last 2 days(Sat,Sun) with laptop and 2 people both of whom occasionally go into a volley of “enti”, “ante” and “cheppandi”! The only word catching my attention in the exchange being “Lunch” which is just the same without the laptop. Ironical is the fact that although I was taken for my analytical and communicating skills , I aint analyzing nor am I even remotely communicating!!

Imagine that! ME! Silent!! With that unbelievably pleasant thought to think about I bade you farewell.