They say it’s the thought that counts. From years of experience, I can confidently say “I couldn’t disagree more!!” It is apparently an art you really have to master to survive in the world. I’m not talking about honing the hidden sycophant skills or trying to be that detested person who’s got his lips all over the wrong cheeks! Even a casual day’s conversation does not seem to pass off as reasonable unless it is inundated, at least ever so slightly, with a few words of praise. The whole deal becomes troublesome when the target of the compliment tries to read- in to the casual statement. There are 2 possible scenarios which end up making the whole art of complimenting a topic to be discussed:
1. Too Little Too Late – Let’s say you want to appreciate it, him/her. But you’re not the typical compliment giving individual. Inevitably whatever you say in an attempt to make it a casual statement would be preyed on as being too little. Worse yet would be the interpretation that since you have not praised it high and far, you must DEFINITELY be making fun of it!! I have tried to explain, without much luck, to many people that my art of complimenting would involve subtle hints and rare direct comments. Never works out though.. You really have to put it across in words that could put Keats to shame! That brings us to the second scenario…
2. Too Much – Now if you fall under the category of people who genuinely want to compliment, then you have to be careful about your intended target. There are cases where the statements would be unadulterated , “from the heart”, but still will be twisted and construed to be taken as an insult or a mocking. But more often than not, the intended target would appreciate the comment. This is the basic “funda” behind compliments wherein people ALWAYS want to feel good.
This evaluation will lead to the conclusion than in reality it might be better to be artificially mocking than genuinely casual! J
It is not just giving a compliment that’s an art; receiving one too is quite a pain to master. Many a time I have been told how smart and handsome I am but I just don’t know how to take all that attention! Who are we kidding! But I assume the point is made. There are the sorts who would grill you till you make a compliment and then others who wouldn’t know how to react for a genuine one. What would a normal response be to a genuine compliment? The various interpretations that can be derived due to the many variety of people around, risks a response to be limited to a murmur and a shrug. But then again, even that would come out as a haughty wat of putting “Oh..I know!.what to doooo…”. How about the casual harmless ”thankyou”? But then again, that too comes off as “ya ya…I completely agree I’m awesome”. Then, there is the other group who will deem you as the worst thing that happened in this world after Edward did to the Vampire clan. Irrespective of whether you perceive them to be deserving of a compliment or not, you HAVE to say it! They rarely have an issue with responding to appreciation. If they do, it would be the funniest thought process conceivable :
*Before Compliment : “Why won’t he say I look good. Disgusting Guy”
*After compliment : “.Say something.. say something!!" "Aww...Teehee.” *giggle**giggle* *PUKE*!!
When you ask for it, more often than not, you are ready for it! So they definitely know what to say.
This post is definitely not a lesson on giving or receiving a compliment. Coz frankly, I’m the last person you could approach for that. But before signing it off , here are the NEVER MIX and MATCH combinations.
· Never mix and match a person who compliments less, with a compliment seeker. If this ever happens, you are in for a lot of complaining and accusations!
· Never mix and match an extensive “complimentor” with one who can’t take it. Misunderstanding and misinterpretations are inevitable.
So bring it on! I can take it. Compliment me all you want!
P.S : The dripping artificiality in this post makes it one of my worst ever!
