The Digital Friendship

In an era of constant discussions regarding the uses, addictions etc of Internet usage and computers in general, I thought it would be interesting to give a perspective of how the different phases of friendship develop over the digital spectrum. Sparking the growth of relations used to be a very simple affair before the advent of internet. Along the different stages, before phones, I can only assume that it essentially needed direct contact. Probably letters played a key role as well inorder to keep in touch with “long lost friends”. I remember a time where there even used to be the thrill of buying a Season’s greetings card and sending it. Addresses had more meaning than IP or email.

The next phase, more relevant to the late 90’s were the phone years. You meet a person, become acquaintances and then continue “hanging out” or talking for a long time. The next stage was exchanging phone numbers. The occasional call, the long talks became essential. But being at a fixed location was mandated. This implied that having a landline was not only essential but most useful as well. Landline bills running into the 1000’s became common. Mobility was fixed though and setting up plans involved carefully planned timings and no last minute changes unless everyone was around. Blank calls were so common where you have that awkward moment of the friend’s relatives picking up and you really don’t want to say much to them. It had to either hope that it would be quick or try your luck next time.

The stages have evolved today. From simple interactions to letters and then to phone calls, today relationships are maintained over stages. Each stage can also be described as a level higher in the bonding cycle.

The stages defined are just a generic opinion, it would depend largely on the individual’s comfort levels as well.

STAGE  1 : The initial contact for most cases is thankfully still personal interaction. But unlike the yesteryears the maintenance is largely online or when not on face to face terms, Although there have been many instances of great friends and even more being formed over random introductions across the internet.  Most common platform this is FB today.

STAGE 2 : Then comes the build up period. Now the strength of the relation is defined by the communicating medium used. These span phases which have been dynamically adjusting to the newly introduced softwares and apps. It used to be a simple matter of  Contact -> Phone -> Online chat but this too has evolved. Phone period itself can be hierarchically classified as Messages - > Calls

STAGE 3 : Getting closer. With the new changes, phones were bumped up . Online chats became much more common, and the degree of closeness was stronger when numbers were shared post that. The order still remained with direct calls forming the stronger connect at the end

STAGE 4 : With the constant connect opportunities like FB messenger, Watsapp and BB messenger. Online chat bumped down.. they became casual everyday objects of conversation just as you would talk to the person sitting around you at work or class. The new hierarchy formed involved much more use of the phone but less as a calling device. But still the “pinging” apps came after online chat, stronger than messages but I would still assume lesser than calls. This stage has evolved in such a way that a large amount of time is spent in this period. Creating more opportunities but diluting the strength of actual bonds. The elongated period resulted in larger numbers, which in effect caused distribution of bond perception which a person might have.

At the current point of evolution, the order is defined as:

 Contact -> Online Chat -> First phone call for reason -> Messages -> “Ping” Apps -> Random Calls 

These are just ramblings based on general observations. But if you think about it, they more or less come across in some phased hierarchy for all contacts you have made. J

WHY I TALK A LOT....

Yes, this post is going to be a direct explanation of a question on everyone’s mind.. Call it egoistic, call it what you may. But in effect I hope to lead into some food for thought.

One reason branches out from the reason why the famous quote “Look before you leap”. At most occasions it is essential to plan out what is to be said. Sadly, though I am an advocate of such a obvious reasoning, I cannot claim to be one who practices it. Most conversations which take place involve sharing ideas as they come. Now these ideas, might be sudden and being created dynamically. In that case, as the idea evolves the sentences begin to vary with them. In most cases the observation is that the beginning of the sentence might not even have any connect or even contradict the end. This is mostly since I might have thought up an idea, analyzed it and refuted it. All this while, I would be stating the idea as it builds. By, around the 4^th sentence you will see the confusion as the words come out while the idea is being refuted. And so by the end, you have no idea what I just said. Don’t feel bad, I admit, more often than not I don’t too. But along with the complete thought process in mind, all the pieces fall into place. Sadly, or maybe not most of my posts follow the same format.

Now moving into the food for thought, sometimes it so happens that the sentences are appended with clauses or conditions or explanations which are obvious.  It is the characteristic attribute and the proud differentiating factor for human beings from animals to be unique. (No offense, animal lovers and alien believers). With such an individualistic nature floating around you, and keeping that in mind, it becomes all the more necessary to assume that any action, any word or any thought can be interpreted in umpteen number of ways. These interpretations stem from the past, the present and the future. A person’s experience directs him to decipher the meaning of a sentence in his/her own manner. Being aware of this possibility is truly hell. Since at each word it requires that you estimate the percentage of listeners who would interpret it the way you want it, the percentage who take it optimistically and worse the share that take it negatively. Now, analyzing this as you go requires you to add words, clauses, “buts and ands”, just to ensure that a path is given so that the right destination is attained.

I’d like to visualize a conversation as guided tour. The only thing known is the beginning. Now, to reach a destination there are many ways. Taking an Indian context, deciding the way, goes through evaluating criterion such as bad roads, bad crowd, bad timing, good amount of traffic, bad weather and worse roads. In such circumstances, the trip becomes more important than the source and destination. It so happens, that even the destination is evaluated by the worth of the route.  Now mapping back to a conversation, it is required that the right route be given to give the right experience. So, those explanations and add-on sentences are just to make the listener’s experience of the entire conversation a more wholesome one. And at times, even if desperately attempted, a more entertaining one.

Besides, all this , there is also the simple explanation. I just like talking! J

NB : No listeners were hurt, in the making of this post. Readers, I can’t speak for you yet.

A romantic poem....

We never value what we have, it is said

We never know, even when promises are pled,

Finally one day, when she slips from our fingers

From that day just a memory lingers.

When I set my eyes on you first,

With emotions my heart did burst

Although friends said there were better

My only thought “I should get her”..

After a long wait we were together

World became easy, light like a feather.

Whenever I came up against a wall

You were always there to take the call.

Your sweet voice would wake me from sleep

Reminding me daily of promises to keep,

Or  when lonely, to sing me a song.

It was always fun, all day long.

With a hand behind just holding you close

And in my mind when questions arose,

I used to move my fingers across your face,

And hope I could take you to every place.

Never feared how the directions lay,

Over the bridge or the next turn was the way,

I knew with you sitting by my side,

I’d never go wrong in any ride.

Many times before, when I feared I lost you

I cannot imagine how I got through.

But now that I know you are far from me

There is this hole that feels so empty.

Its hard to believe I have lost you now

To put it into words I cannot imagine how

Without you in my hands I feel alone

Oh, Where are you my Android phone!

Now read it again…. ;) ;)

Mumbai...

Mumbai. A city which people extol over and over. Frankly, a reason which I may not be able to see so clearly. Probably coz I have not been able to live life as fast as the city moves. Some day, down the line, probably this will all seem natural. But there is one thing to love about the city; to look at with thought and respect. The Marine drive. A whole 3 kilometre long stretch which contains people from every point in life. Babies, kids, working youth, adults and the old. Anything you want to classify mankind by, the people exist here.

Personally, I feel, that at any point if you ever feel that you might be feeling stuck or alone with problems, take a drive through this brilliant collection of humanity. Irrespective of the background, gender or roadblock in life you will see relevant people here. Every person will have a story. Even if it is to celebrate an occasions or mourn a stage in life, the place, the view is the same. The all absorbing sea.

At times it could be surprising that the same tranquil sea can play host to a person’s happiest moments while assuming the comforting role for someone else’s problem.. Observing this long stretch of myriad of humanity, one makes you wonder if any of it matters. Are we really unique in assuming whatever we ponder about in life. As an individual we assume that our problems are our own, our happiness or success are our own doing. But the fact that can be seen as we see the different kinds of people over this stretch is the randomness involved in life. At one glance, they are just a large number of bustling people, but on closer observation they are “you” at any point in your life. The lonely person with no job ponders over his future as the BMW driving family enjoys their day out with their family. As that family guides their 1 year old baby taking his successful steps by the edge of the walkway, two old friends share their moment catching up and feel the wind in their air as they recount stories from their youth.

That, in fact is the beauty of Mumbai. And frankly, that is the only place I have managed to love Mumbai till date. But for this plethora of mankind bustling at any time of the day, the trip is worth it. 

What's Up?

Pic : Depiction of the possible origins for the subject matter discussed below

To begin with I would like to point out that the title to this post, by itself, is very controversial. Considering the topic at hand, there would be a lot of passionate discussion among all the readers as to what exactly would be the spelling of the “oh so often” used shortened form of “What is up?”. Technically, the response to such a statement can and in all reality, should be of the order of “Fan”, “Sky”, “Ceiling” or to crude double entendres which I would rather not touch upon here (no pun intended). All the same the nature of the generic “Watsup” (the spelling I will follow for convenience), has developed over the years to mean more and much more than more.

In the annals of history, two strangers passing each other by, only had the ‘smile’ to confront each other with. This passing gesture was densely packed and ridiculously conspicuous with the absence of any vocal acknowledgment. Ofcourse, a tip of the hat with a nice “How do you do?” or “Good morning” can be imagined. But then I would have to account for the cross legged, knee bending, skirt holding ladies. All of which I will have to imagine up from movies. So, for now I choose to ignore the overly polite gentlemen and wonderfully cultured ladies here. Anywayyy, as I was saying, the smile stood for all that we, as humans did not represent. If baring of teeth or widening of lips was enough to pass messages, how would we distinguish us as the evolved individuals we are!!!

And thus comes the role of “Watsup”. No amount of Googling will be able to explain when along the history of English language this came into such common usage. But certain mannerisms in which it is used does hint that it has to be over the last few decades. Now, as mentioned earlier, there is a confusion as to how it is actually said, typed or heard. The variations in emotion as well as actions associated with this small word can only be matched by the equally stunning “Awww”. Listing out a few of the usages would be as below :

1. SUP : This is a highly shortened form of the word and is usually given with a nod or tilt of the head in the backward direction

2. WATSAAAAP/WASSAAP : Usually used between people who know each other very well. Actions associated with this could be ‘High Fives’, ‘Fist pumping’ (sometimes followed by an imaginary blowing up of the said fists) and in extreme cases, running into each others' chests.

3. WHATSUP : This normal usage of the word can have multiple connotations. It could either be in response to “Can I speak to you” etc, or in place of customary hi’s. At times, when said in a solemn tone and preceded by “Awww”, it can imply deep concern and interest.

Other variations to the above mentioned usages can be WAZZAAAP, WAZZUP, WASSUP, WADDAAAP etc. All these can further divided based on the number of A’s, Z’s or S’s. Years of usage and observation have shown that the first W and second A are rarely extended.

The beauty of the word is in the fact that, a mutual exchange of “WATSUP”s can be followed by a smile, a nod or even nothing at all and still the conversation can be deemed a success! In addition, any amount of translation to other languages can not give the same feeling or impact. Eg. Upar kya hai(Hindi), Molil entha (Malayalam).

So, go forth, enjoy, interact and don’t forget the customary smile and the WASSUPs that makes us social beings and the world a better place to live in.

Edutainment??

The coincidence is STUNNING. An unplanned post exactly after a year!!

What every student seeks in his/her years of education are different techniques to stay entertained. I have to admit that the modes of entertainment vary a lot over the years. By this I do not just mean the “generation difference” which is highlighted by the advent of mobile phones right at your finger tips, to chat, message and play. I mean the difference between what is possible in your school life, under graduate and post graduate. The fact that I have experienced all three and experimented across the years is both a matter of pride and concern. Pride, for obvious reasons and concern coz if I wanted to study so much I would have become a doctor! (No offense to more than 50% of my family).

Although I do not want to go into details of the fundamental avenues of entertainment in classrooms like talking, hitting the person next to you, staring longingly at your latest crush etc., I will all the same for the benefit of the confused, give an idea of the difference across different courses. In schools there was a limitation to how much freedom our hands had. A question used in one of my blog posts earlier, “Why is there so much noise, are you writing with your mouth?”, if not analyzed for its sheer logical idiocy actually signifies the need to constantly write down what is being taught. Over the years, this need has decreased due to two reasons – the need of education changed and the “no need” attitude of students increased. Moving onto an under-grad course, it called for a different classroom setting. The mistake in analyzing this would be the fact that different students have different experiences here. But on the whole the scope for entertainments increased since the students were older, bolder and the topics were boring and tough.

Experiencing a post-grad course now, I found the need to list out 3 techniques of entertainment in class which I occasionally implement. Since the classification under academic circumstances, I have felt free to use relevantly catchy self-proclamations for my techniques.

1. “SAME” Technique: This is a beautiful technique which I have only had the opportunity to implement once or twice. The attractiveness lies in the fact that it achieves a dual advantage of remaining active in class while giving an image of being attentive as well. The execution requires utmost care and timing. All it involves is paying 2 minutes of attention or even lesser. As soon as the faculty asks a question wait for someone to raise their hands and be noticed. At once raise your own hand. This can also be done if you don’t even hear the question and just see the raised hands. Be very careful you don’t get his/her attention before anyone else. The crowning moment of this technique is in the reaction given once you are called for an answer, after the first person. With utmost conviction you go “Sir(Madam), Same point”..The intention is to give an absolutely disappointed look with a shrug of the shoulder to ensure that the faculty feels guilty for not having called you first.

Courtesy : thebadchemicals.com

2.Random Number method : This one is much more simpler and fun. As soon as a question beginning with the word “How many…” is put to the class, start shouting numbers. This can also be used as a two or more player game with the victor being the person closest or furthest from the required answer. Other variations of this include “Guess That Place”, “Who’s that Guy” etc. which originate from random guesses as obviously applicable

3. Shouting Along Phenomenon : Now one thing that has stayed constant throughout the year is the visualization of the difference between combined knowledge and individual knowledge of the students. As soon as the tutor asks a question, the entire class knows the answer but not one single person does. This phenomenon of shouting out answers and theories all pointing to the same answer for the careful listener is in fact something that can be analysed by itself. The method originated years ago from the gypsy fortune tellers. Their technique of throwing out words so that the listener hears what he wants to hear, has been adapted beautifully by students everywhere and of all ages. Although an insult to the historic origins of such a respected method of classroom participation, this too can be used as a perfect source of entertainment. The techniqueis simple. As soon as the class starts answering shout along. But the fun is in challenging yourself to be more creative. My initial days began with words related to the respective subjects. I have moved on successfully to movie names and the occasionally comic references. There is a slight requirement to know that subject, so that you avoid saying the right answer accidentally and being dragged into the discussion.

All these techniques have been tested and proved but at the same time there are two warnings:

- Use at your own discretion

- Do NOT use it in the class I am in. I can’t have two people saying “Sir, Same point”!!

*Author is noted for his unique multitasking ability to keep himself entertained while pissing people off at the same time.