RANDOM THOUGHTS - 2

Since I haven’t written for a while I thought I’d drop in a few points about some things that run through my mind but which in effect make no sense or are just not worth bothering …

P.S - this is my worst post ever

1. If I were in your shoes/place : Now we’ve all come across this situation where you are in a predicament or in the middle of a problem. In more informally “formal words” you have got yourself stuck in depth in some fecal remains. So there we are… Wondering what to do..whats next, when someone comes over and says (please read in a deep voice) “Hey..if I were in your place.. “.. Here you are trying to solve some issues of your own and you have to add to that someone’s imaginary problems??? Comon..think about it.. All these “if”s are just a whole lot of imaginary scenarios which gives the speaker never dreamt of powers.. But never tone it down.. If I guy is looking for a chance to boost his ego, let him do it..poor soul… And then pray that he never does be in your place.. Or if you’re a sadist pray that he does.. Look at it this way. If the “if” made any sense I’d just walk over to my boss right now and say “Hey, if I were in your place I’d give myself a raise”.. But funnily enough doesn’t work that way..

2. Assumptions: People are born with these.. The baby assumes he’s giving us a fun time.after a while he doesn’t realize we are thinking “if I were in your place I wouldn’t be so mean”. The lower primary kid thinks he’s the smartest guys around and all those people who are older are just too dumb to understand that. The high school kid thinks he’s the coolest guy around and assumes he understand what’s happening in class.. The college guy thinks pretty much the same thing along with that funny idea that he knows what he wants in life (and wife).. I haven’t gotten very far past that point…So if I update this in 40 years or so, I’ll fill in the rest of a human cycle. So people assume.. Just like I assume I have readers.. So there’s no point being bothered about assumptions. Positive assumptions are always great.. Keeps u boosted for no particular reasons. But then again negative assumptions are fine until it becomes a surety.. coz then it isn’t an assumption anymore… A fact is harder to handle… And I’m just assuming all this made any sense..

3. Selflessness : ah! Yes..this is something I consider very funny.. Let me put it straight. There’s not one person in this world who has done anything without having their own interest in mind. Not me, not you and not Edward of Twilight fame! :P.. I know you can quote hundreds of instances of selfless acts by people, by famous personalities but for each instance I can break it down so that it shows the selfish nature of humanity. Even leaders of mass organizations are in effect working for personal gains. Agreed, others gain by it too.. But that’s where I draw the line between the word definition of selfishness and my definition of selfishness.

SOME QUOTES :

1. "Its not about what you do its about what you say."

2. Please generalise this one to your comfort : "They think everything is about them and when it actually is, they just don't get it"

3. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

Ok..Frankly I’m totally out of ideas..!! If I were in your place I’d just read all my older posts but then again……… :)

My Regular Day

My next planned blog was supposed to be something serious. But I couldn’t help writing this one!!

A day at work (where I currently am)..

A day at my work(which excludes Thu-Fri) can be defined in a very logical manner and a perfect algorithm. Funnily enough coz the work I do requires neither logic nor an IQ for that matter. So here’s how it is

Step 1 : Access Client system
Step 2: Check number of tickets
Step 3 : Detect processible ticket while wondering about all the other ones which are just lying in your bucket for days…
Step 4: Open ticket
Step 5 : Open authorization form
Step 6: Check signature
//The most complex part comes here at which point my brain creaks into motion//
If form has all necessary signature create/change/remove/do something! to user ID
ELSE reassign to respective people.
Step 7 : Goto Step 1 until we have only non-processible tickets to sit and wonder about
Step 8 : Sit simply
Step 9 : Check time.sit simply
Step 10 : Loop step 8 and 9 till time = 8:00pm.
Step 11 : Leave to die of boredom another day.
Its fun… :)

The argument you may have here is that all work have this. Well I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact that in a 7-day week (as all weeks are) I am stuck 3 days(MTW) with a floor full of similarly pissed people, 2 days(TF) with a laptop and no people and the last 2 days(Sat,Sun) with laptop and 2 people both of whom occasionally go into a volley of “enti”, “ante” and “cheppandi”! The only word catching my attention in the exchange being “Lunch” which is just the same without the laptop. Ironical is the fact that although I was taken for my analytical and communicating skills , I aint analyzing nor am I even remotely communicating!!

Imagine that! ME! Silent!! With that unbelievably pleasant thought to think about I bade you farewell.

A blog in Lines

Captions, 4 liners…. Somehow these were the things which kept us busy in 4 years of BTech... I used to have this fascination for limericks long back… Did a lot of research.. Read a lot of them.. But never did it click that each 4 liner we made in college were just another one of those limericks which I used to read about... But I realized one day how long it’s been since I made one of those... All thanks to the book I’ve been trying to finish for so long. For the fantasy fascinated and the Hitchhiker fan I’d recommend this series. Simoquin Prophecies, Manticore’s Secrets and the Unwaba Revelations (I’m on that one right now). There’s one whole chapter dedicated to a yeti and her 4 liners... You can’t call it a poem; it’s just an expression of facts in rhymes. Here’s an example. Made this one up after I got an irritating mosquito issue resolved. You’ll agree that no amount of poetic romanticism can be found in this:

“No more mosquitoes will bite me at night
Coz of the coil in the morning I did light
I opened my door to find it full of smoke
All thanks to the coil about which I spoke” :P

That’s when it hit me: that any situation, any issue could be expressed with one of these rhymes. Not necessarily would all these lines make any sense to the facts being quoted but after all we DO speak a lot of crap in the middle. At least those that do listen to me will agree that I do. How about this one:

“Thursdays and Fridays are my weekends off
5 days I’d work regardless of headache or cough
One day I had decided that every week I’d blog
Alas, I did nothing but surf and hog.”

Here’s more:

“In college there were, many problems all rated
I know by now it’s all outdated
I shouldn’t bring it up after so long a time
But give me a break I’m just making a rhyme”

“Whizz did we to Kuntala by road
To the water falls, an Alto I rode (Tip: Using homophones are not very effective)
Hope did I, the Sun would be less hotter
So at the falls, we could see a little water”

“I live in LA* with Nikhil and a Chinki
Tolia, he was named, whole of him and his pinky**
Along with us there was one Pai
No! It is not the one that went high”
:D
*LA = Lotus Arcadia
**Pinki = I mean little finger!!

"You must have heard, about this mallu Chinki
Tarun, Maninder, we also called him a donkey
Famed were he and his green shorts
The one with the flowers and the white polka dots
There was with him, one who shared his bed
Law did permit but they were not wed
Coz this was Pai,known to be confused
But we all know its an act;all induced.
Though, on one side stood the beloved chinki,
We all know who had Pai by the pinki
Small but mean she had him in control
Quite a laugh, real funny on the whole"

Couldn't help it, it just kept going after the first 4 lines...sorry guys.. :D


“Attempt to crack did I, many a joke
Until people started ignoring whatever I spoke
Now I’m thinking I’ll write some down too
I know you’re all going “Get lost! Booo!!””

“I could go on all day adding another line
Even if together you all did whine
But for now I’m stopping this ridiculous blog
Please do comment or at least add some dialogue”

Well I guess that’s another feather to my blog.. Until I start spontaneously again.Bye. :D

Convocation Funda - I

The irony of the situation is that here I am, trying real hard to go to a place I’d rather not be reminded of.. Now, surprisingly, what should have been an easy decision has just not been that. In my right mind and not considering any other factor, which include the proud people who just want to see my convocation. Not exactly to feel proud and happy but for more of a reassurance that I actually am a BTech graduate as the mode in which I have spent four years of my education did not exactly symbolize a high probability to support it..It hasn’t been an easy decision. It has gone “definitely not” to maybe to “ALRIGHT” and then again to “What da heck for” and then back finally to my current status viz “Whatever”. Now let’s break it down as best as I can and am obliged to put it. So, what came first.. “Definitely not”... Well let’s not break that one down.. As that forms the foundation and the initial unchanged decision the actual facts are not absolutely necessary so let’s just keep it simple instead of going into too many unnecessarily confusing details.. So there I am totally not inspired by the opportunity of getting together at college for all those memories of “fun and frolic”.. And then when more information came pouring in, something hit me.. A sense of freedom? No, that hits me now and then anyway.. A hint of nostalgia..maybe a bit, a very small bit I guess.. But it was enough to take a crazy decision of going.. And you know how it is when ur mind changes and u spend 5400 for a ticket, it really is hard to change ur mind back. Coz now the body is run by the green and not the grey matter. And by green matter I am not talking about getting high.!!The green paper, dollar, dong; put it however you want to.. So there I am, a little down on cash and thought I might as well use it up since I already spent it. Now my sole reason for attending was to experience the amazing service a Kingfisher could offer me.. No, again I do not mean the same service that a Tiger or a Budweiser could offer me.. I mean the Kingfisher that gets you high..in the air, u know.. Wow! This is really getting confusing, even for me!! Ok anyway as I finally decide to go for the convocation, disaster strikes in the form of a remote and a lot of red tape. Deciding it was a stupid decision to change my mind in the first place, then again I turned to the services of Kingfisher to take me out..3 of them infact.. There’s the situation.. I can come but I can’t attend. So what am I coming for? I thought I was coming to attend.. Things started getting confusing. There, I shifted from “ALRIGHT!” to “Wat the heck for”. But Kingfisher service can do amazing things to you. Instantly I shifted on to “Whatever” mode.. And there I found myself next morning at Hyderabad airport all ready to go and typing the start of this blog. Well long story short for now: I went, I attended and I celebrated leaving the place. All’s well that ends well I guess.. Although sometimes things may not end well but all those are well too, I suppose..Anyway here I am, waiting at Cochin just happy to get back.. If time, joblessness and more different services by KF, Tiger and what not permits I’ll get back to this. Adios people.. :)

Welcome to Hyderabad - Part 1(Traffic)

Well its been 3 months in this city and I still haven’t blogged about it yet.. Now that’s no sign of a good blogger.. So just so that I show one sign of being a good blogger so I can be proud and pat myself on the back I thought I’ll get a few ideas across.. So to those who don’t know this is Hyderabad.. I don’t know what its called the land of..or else I would have named it Hyderabad , Land of “whatever its called”. Well, I got to admit one thing about this place. It’s not as bad as they say.. Actually overall its an absolutely great. Its fast, adventurous and filling. Yup.that around covers the points I would have put across. I have been on a lot of roads but this place is the best. If you think about it you’d realize that somewhere in the annuls of history this was the place where they tested out all traffic rules.. They just got a couple of vehicles together, made sure they were seated with all possible number of people, (starting from what is possible to what would never have been thought to be) and then just put them there on the roads to see what would happen. Few inferences they might have made were,

1. We need lanes. People going both ways can NOT drive on the same side of road and still remain happy drivers. Some people have to drive on the other side of the road. (No.this was not the reason they had to come up with the 377 too!!)



2. We need service centers. Although general rules in Hyderabad governs that every vehicle less than or equal to a Tata Indica will invariably have a dent in it, people are getting richer. So we need service centers for the high end cars.

3. Buses should be fitted with brakes which work even while enroute. – I got no explanations here.. Its just there. You either get off a bus fast or die trying.




4. Number of people in a three wheeler vehicle should be limited. – There’s one good thing about this place.. You get to hang around a lot.. I have been to a lot of places with my friends. But I get to hang out(..of an auto..) all the way enroute.

5. Auto stands – At some point of time in the “past history” of Hyderabad a Mr. Reddy decided one thing. “ I can’t stand it that autos come and stand where I stand. Those contraptions have to stand where autos stand”. And thus was created the concept of Auto stands.And to honour him there’s one in every household of Hyderabad.. I don’t mean the stands. Lets get one thing straight. You can’t blame the rickshaw drivers. They are just hoping to get a good paying ride. They just have to be ready all the time. It’s hard for them to differentiate between a guy hailing an auto rickshaw and a guy yawning. For them every guy on or off the road is a possible customer. Even if he’s just getting off another auto!People, give them credit for all the circus tricks they pull off with an over laden vehicle. Sheesh!!

Well I’m proud to be a part of a city which can boast of being the inspiration for many rules but there’s one single problem! Give us a break!! They forgot to get this place back into shape. Well the least they could have done in return was implementing a few of the rules, right here!! Even a beta model would have pepped things up a bit. Well be grateful all of you out there!!. We are risking a lot to make your roads safer in the future...Well you know what they say.. “if u can’t beat ‘em join ‘em”.. And I’m doing just that. More to come… As I said ..its fast, adventurous and filling.. I still have the last part to cover..later then…

HIYA

Its been long…Real long!!!
I really don’t see the point of writing anything if its just for me to read.. :P.. Anyway, right now I’ve been relocated to Hyderabad. I usually end up blogging if there’s something nagging on my mind or there’s some trivial stupidity I need to spread around. Well for now life is pretty easy. So no nagging nor any stupidity that’s trivial. But I hope to get back into this soon. Hyderabad is a real good place.You’d expect things about this place after seeing PG messes(in all sense of the word) in college. But its not even close to that. Its fast and easy to keep up with at the same time. So there’s nothing to complain there. Even the recent legislations don’t make much sense to me ,now that I’m far away from the “orientally” stereotyped Calicut. And ofcourse with the likes of Yadu and Rahul going back to where THEY came from, I guess Calicut can soon regain its place in history as it was rather than being the best place in Kerala on July 2nd.
So that’s that. For starters a few things I learnt or developed in Hyderabad :

- A philosopher is one who knows how to live a perfect life but never does.

- To be a consistent comedian you need to keep moving.

-Projector remotes are some of the most irritating things in the world and they haunt you wherever they go.

-Yadu’s latest quote would be “Better late than never. Areh Va!Delhi “6”. “

-Rahul : “A little too late , oh little ass! ”

Bye then.. Hope I get more time like this..

Now this post really comes under the title of “miscellaneous” coz its not about anything in particular but just a condensed version of lots of thoughts that strike me in different situations. Special note for this blog: I shall be trying to write the posts in a Situation – Thought combination,but excuse me if I don’t manage to come up with situations at times.. Also I might add more thoughts based on what turns up along the way and will be posted as they come, whenever they may be.

1. Now this is one situation at least most of my friends from Kerala would be able to relate with. It might not make much sense to anyone who hasn’t been on the hearing end of such a conversational oxymoron but I swear I am not making this up.

Situation: Teacher : “Ay..Why all this talking(noise)??Are you writing with your mouths??”

Shanker’s Thought : Come on!!!This makes no sense at all..If we were actually using our mouths to write I really doubt we’d be able to do any talking at all..The only reason we are able to talk is coz our mouth is free while we write with our hands!!!Sheesh…………

2. Ok…done with the really poor jokes…but I just had to put that one first coz I’ve been wondering about this for the last 8 years or so!!!!Onto a bit more serious thought. I got no practical situation to explain for this one. There are innumerable number of quotes on changes and discussions about how one is good ,the other is bad etc. etc…So here’s my thought on that..

Shanker’s Thought : Changes are neither good nor bad.It is how we adapt to them that gives them any quality.

3. Ah!This one’s got a bit more philosophical touch. I’m not explain any more..

Situation 1 : ABC : “ That guys amazing.He doesn’t care what people say about him”

Situation 2 : XYZ : “Its ok..He doesn’t care what others think about him”

Etc.etc…

Shanker’s Thought : Makes no sense at all!!!!…I cant believe there are nitwits in the world who actually say this kind of stuff. Every single person cares about what people say or think about them… Whether they react or not is completely different; but they CARE….So people of the world I implore you…..dont be so idiotic as to form an impression about ANYONE like that…..!!!!!

Mutant Sarees

I’m not exactly sure how many of my so called imaginary “readers”(yes I had to overdo and stress that point) would agree with me when I take up such a comparison.. but this is one matter of real concern which has been gnawing at me for a really long time… And I’m not using that term in the usual sense of just “making me think”.. It has really been gnawing and getting on my nerves…But luckily for now half my stuff are safe from these anomalies… As a matter of fact, more than just as an analogy sometimes I really wonder if it could be true.. But before I get into the matter a small intro into things… Mutants, as is known to all movie buffs(and I’m not talking about the real critics here…just people like me who enjoy an occasional blast and a fight.), have that innate tendency to multiply uncontrollably and pop up from the most unexpected places.. Now keeping this in mind I cant help but wonder if the sarees at my home are undergoing such a complex extra-terrestrial intrusion.. This situation can easily be proved y stating three simple facts…

1. Sarees are only bought and worn by my mother

2. Irrespective of location, time or occasion you open a shelf, you get a saree if and only if you’re a male.

3. My mother never finds a saree when it’s the location, time or occasion



That’s the situation…At times it seems as if all the “mutant sarees” follow a simple replication and replacement modus operandi and end up turning up in our drawers with no clue whatsoever as to where the shirts and pants disappeared. And when one is actually required (not by me) they’re just soooo elusive!!! Worst of all is the fact that they don’t JUST turn up…Nope!! They end up falling all over and around you when you least expect them. Well that’s the storyline at my home : “Attack of the Mutant Kancheepurams”*

* For the uninitiated “kancheepuram“ is a special class of high quality (the "expensively good" types) sarees..

Cute ads...

Lots of ideas brewing up...but meanwhile, here's a really amazing ad i liked...kudos to AIRTEL for putting it so beautifully...

"REALITY" Strikes!!!

The question is not about whether its all a fabricated show as many claim…..And considering the predictions and the result of the recently concluded “Star Singer” this may or may not be true…Oops…think I started this all wrong…After a lot of pondering on what to write about it struck me…its time I put forth my views on the melodramatic mega serials which are out in their new form – the so-called reality shows…As I said, its not abt whether we’re just getting ripped over here with regard to the competition…Lets leav that part for later…Lets take a run through history…It all began with “Sthree”, with its famous “Sthree oru janmam” (Woman one life) title song…And then it was followed by …..hmm….oh ya sthree again….If I remember right there were around three versions of “Sthree” and its variations…Well and good for the channel I guess coz it took up around 4 years to get those women issues cleared!!

I had the bad luck to see some episodes of these monotonously “varying” MEGA-serials in different channels…The modes of torture and intricate planning employed by the characters can be found only in 3 places as of my present count – Indian serials,World War 2 camps and the Al-Qaeda hideouts…So there they were, the women of the country ,stuck to the TV(called idiot box for a reason), watching as “real-life” characters - depicted as the next-door girl or guy - plot to poison their siblings,jump off cliffs and exchange babies!!!!Ofcourse, according to the producers and the advertisers these are everyday happenings in an Indian family’s life… Larger than life(Larger being an understatement) can be equivalent to real life only in the country of Rajnikanth and Mohanlal…..

P.S - I got nothing against those guys...its just co-incidence and the "hard to take in" action scenes which keep reminding me of Rajnikanth

Soon the writers started running out of evil plots and thus we come to the latest incarnation of mega-serials------the reality shows…….We’ve got dance,songs and wat not….It wouldn’t hav mattered and would hav been considered as an amazing talent hunt if it weren’t for the time and the melodrama it takes….Every household now has their own favorite singer,dancer,actor and I’m not talkin about the movies here…Its like an all new EPL – Entertainment Premier League….And when they ended 2007, I sighed with relief but now its bak…Longer and more dramatic the all new 2008 series!!!!!Half the people in the state know about “sangathi”,”plans” and nearly everyones a music critic now….Ofcourse its an entertainer..There are singers and songs(pathetic at time even to my amateur musical ears),dancers and dances(ditto) and over acting “actors”..There’s always a cute girl with a mic,atleast one really irritating judge and more who think they’re really funny..Best of all -we’ve got people crying and faintin on stage..The tension could give a guy heart attack!!What more could a viewer ask for…

Never knew television could be the medium to make half the population sadists…Entertainment at the sake of participant elimination and insulting is definitely fun…And to top it all they’ve got the really irritating and plagiarized background scores for highlighting the depression….Well hav a blast people…Looks like THIS is REALITY!!!!

Shanker