Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Who we are....

Over the last 2 days I have been on a mission of searching for long lost contacts. People I shared incidents in my life with 18, maybe 19 years ago. People with whom I grew up, who I always took for granted at that age. But regardless of the extensive utility of social networks, I was unable to locate any of them. Well, the fault isn’t completely on those addictive time-consumers, coz it really is hard to remember full names from that age! And add to that the extensive collection of Indian names with their multitude of possible combinations along with minor variations which could include - the addition of an “h”, removal of an “a” and the occasional “…ia” instead of the commonly assumed “…ya” - and you have a huge database to go through. Of course even if I get a name right, identification based on their facial features would be a near impossibility as I have practically no clue what they would have changed into now. And let’s not forget the distractions posed by the empty pangs of hope that “that particular profile pic could be my friend now…or I wish it is. Maybe I should drop a message and find out. If not the old one, a new friend made.SCORE!”.

Anyhow, the relevant point here is that I didn’t make any new friends NOR find the old ones. But it made me wonder. It made me wonder about the people, the people that were around us and the people that may or may not be around us in the future. In effect it made me think about how we are, what we are…

I may sound like I’m turning 70 next month, the way I put it. But the fact is that our life, and more importantly, who we are has basically been a culmination of incidents – both big and small- over the ages. It could be as big as falling in love and breaking your heart, or as small as choosing where to sit in class. The butterfly effect phenomenon plays a huge role in making void any possible measurement of the impact of these incidents. The same circumstances would give completely different outcomes to different people. How one incident impacts a person, would depend on how he/she assimilates it. Recursively, this depends on the incidents before it. Thus, at any particular point the Past adds up, to help read the Present and thus, define our Future.

The question here is for how long does this last. Could it be an endless relation where every single day we learn? This would imply that every day we change something in ourselves. A minor touch here, a slight push there , to try and perfect who we are. As I type it, it sounds like the most possible thing but how big are these changes as compared to how they were possibly ten years ago!! Somewhere along the line the base was made; what is inside had been largely fixed and sealed. All ongoing changes are purely superficial, and sometimes just a temporary volatile addition . A change to who we are, how we think, how we react will require harder work; breaking open the seal to rebuild the base.

But on the whole, can we change who we are? Would we WANT to change who we are? What defines how a person is supposed to be? Every person is simultaneously in the right and the wrong when he reacts the way he does. He is right in his eyes since his actions are defined by his ethics, thoughts and experiences. At the same time, for someone else his actions could be interpreted to be defiant, unethical and even outright vicious. So how exactly do we define the change that is required? Aahhh..who knows J