The Digital Friendship

In an era of constant discussions regarding the uses, addictions etc of Internet usage and computers in general, I thought it would be interesting to give a perspective of how the different phases of friendship develop over the digital spectrum. Sparking the growth of relations used to be a very simple affair before the advent of internet. Along the different stages, before phones, I can only assume that it essentially needed direct contact. Probably letters played a key role as well inorder to keep in touch with “long lost friends”. I remember a time where there even used to be the thrill of buying a Season’s greetings card and sending it. Addresses had more meaning than IP or email.

The next phase, more relevant to the late 90’s were the phone years. You meet a person, become acquaintances and then continue “hanging out” or talking for a long time. The next stage was exchanging phone numbers. The occasional call, the long talks became essential. But being at a fixed location was mandated. This implied that having a landline was not only essential but most useful as well. Landline bills running into the 1000’s became common. Mobility was fixed though and setting up plans involved carefully planned timings and no last minute changes unless everyone was around. Blank calls were so common where you have that awkward moment of the friend’s relatives picking up and you really don’t want to say much to them. It had to either hope that it would be quick or try your luck next time.

The stages have evolved today. From simple interactions to letters and then to phone calls, today relationships are maintained over stages. Each stage can also be described as a level higher in the bonding cycle.

The stages defined are just a generic opinion, it would depend largely on the individual’s comfort levels as well.

STAGE  1 : The initial contact for most cases is thankfully still personal interaction. But unlike the yesteryears the maintenance is largely online or when not on face to face terms, Although there have been many instances of great friends and even more being formed over random introductions across the internet.  Most common platform this is FB today.

STAGE 2 : Then comes the build up period. Now the strength of the relation is defined by the communicating medium used. These span phases which have been dynamically adjusting to the newly introduced softwares and apps. It used to be a simple matter of  Contact -> Phone -> Online chat but this too has evolved. Phone period itself can be hierarchically classified as Messages - > Calls

STAGE 3 : Getting closer. With the new changes, phones were bumped up . Online chats became much more common, and the degree of closeness was stronger when numbers were shared post that. The order still remained with direct calls forming the stronger connect at the end

STAGE 4 : With the constant connect opportunities like FB messenger, Watsapp and BB messenger. Online chat bumped down.. they became casual everyday objects of conversation just as you would talk to the person sitting around you at work or class. The new hierarchy formed involved much more use of the phone but less as a calling device. But still the “pinging” apps came after online chat, stronger than messages but I would still assume lesser than calls. This stage has evolved in such a way that a large amount of time is spent in this period. Creating more opportunities but diluting the strength of actual bonds. The elongated period resulted in larger numbers, which in effect caused distribution of bond perception which a person might have.

At the current point of evolution, the order is defined as:

 Contact -> Online Chat -> First phone call for reason -> Messages -> “Ping” Apps -> Random Calls 

These are just ramblings based on general observations. But if you think about it, they more or less come across in some phased hierarchy for all contacts you have made. J